lost forever

i finally found someone i could be happy with then i lost her, i don’t know if it was my fault or not but all i know is that i got too attached to her and now i feel so dead inside, i’ve been through so much already in the past 19 years such as verbal, physical and mental abuse and now i’m on medication that’s supposed to make me feel better but its only making things worse, i’ve never felt so alone and lost in my entire life like i do now if anybody reads this please help me i don’t know what to do anymore im on the edge of doing something i’ll regret :'(