Who knew I had a heart. I don’t understand why this is happening. I have had enough of the way things work. My grandma always told me that god only gives us what we can handle. I can’t handle it anymore. I wish that I could but I don’t have the strength anymore it hurts and hurts and it only will get worse. I begged for just one day of happiness. I forgot what happiness feels like.. don’t ever fall in love oh god no it hurts more than anything I have ever felt in my entire life and I’ve been through a lot. I’m tired of fighting for air. I’m tired of being tired. Most of all I’m tired of being sad. I don’t like myself and it’s tearing me apart I will never be pretty on the outside or the inside. Who knew a beautiful soul would push me to the edge. I wish I could tell you that I won’t be waking up tomorrow but that would be a lie. I hope that one day I can feel happy. Until then I will be tired sad and angry. I’m worthless.
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“God doesn’t put us through anything that he knows we can’t handle” is something I too have heard when I was growing up but I can’t help but wonder about the people that have killed themselves today and years ago. If God knows what gonna happen before it occurs, then he knew the person that he put through XYZ was going to kill themselves. I think the people who killed themselves due to their situation/problems would have a hard time agreeing that HE doesn’t put u through thing that he knows you can’t handle.
My opinion
Hmmm… God doesn’t put you through anything… Because “he does not try anyone with evil things”… He just allows all of these bad things to happen… for now.
Love can be the most beautiful thing in the world. But it can also hurt you so much. You’re hurting now, but things can still get better. Maybe in time you will heal. Maybe your Xavier will come back to you one day. Or you’ll find someone else… someone who will love you just as much as he did, or even more. You’re a pretty girl, it would be very easy for you to find another guy. And you’re not worthless, Samantha!
You are not worthless, my friend.
Look, I’m unhappy as well, but it does eventually get better. Yes, I’m sad all the time and lonely as well, but I keep pushing and keep going. It sucks but I hope it to be better soon.
Love hurts. But it can be the most beautiful thing ever as well. Many women have hurt me before, and as I’m young, and it shouldn’t matter to me as much as it does, it does bother me.
I can’t see your picture because I’m blind, but does your look matter too much? You will find love. Treat him well, with kindness, with care, and with goodness. It will be rewarding in the end.
Drop me a line if needed.
It’s blindaudio@gmail.com
I don’t think I will find anyone who will not run. I’m just not “good enough” I will never be.
No one is worthless. I know this sounds cliché, but it’s true: everyone has value. Some people just have trouble seeing that value. I don’t know what you look like on the outside Sam, but I’ve read a lot of your posts and I can tell that you’re beautiful on the inside. As for tomorrow, I live by the idea that the future is never certain. You can’t know what tomorrow will hold until tomorrow becomes today. Whether you’re alive or dead, tomorrow will still come. The world will keep spinning whether or not you’re there to see it. But if you’re dead, then you won’t be there to see it, and you’ll never know what opportunities you might miss because you quit too soon. So long as you’re alive, there’s always a chance that tomorrow you might be happy.
Believing that I will be happy tomorrow is so hard to do. I mean I try really hard to be what I need to be I don’t think I’m that great on the inside. I regret feeling this way for so long because I’m to nice I treat people the way I want to be treated but it never works out that way. I feel pointless there is nothing that I feel like I have the energy to do. I don’t want to live. I don’t think I deserve to live. I am very grateful for all that I have. I just feel to tired and sad to really make it in life. The future scares me because I’m scared of change. I’m scared of not knowing what comes to follow. I can’t imagine me having a future. I think that I’ve been holding on so much I don’t think it would be giving up if I killed myself I think it would be letting go. It all sounds childish.
Time changes things, but not always in the way we expect. Time can change the world around us, and it does quite frequently, but often the greatest changes time produces occur not in the world around us but in ourselves. Even if the world around us stays exactly the same, we can still find happiness if our perception of the world changes. Most of the time when our perception changes we don’t even know it’s happening. Probably because it happens all the time, so we don’t notice it because it seems so normal. But people are very adaptive, and our perceptions are always changing. Something that made you sad one day, might make you happy the next. One day you might do something that you’ve done a million times before and never liked, but this time suddenly think it’s fun. The future is never certain. Even if the world around you stays the same, there’s always a chance that you might find happiness. I’m not saying it will happen for sure, I’m just saying there’s a chance. I know it’s hard to hold on. You’re not alone. Believe me I’ve struggled quite a bit myself. But if you let go then you’ll never know what could have been.
I’m bipolar so the chances of real happiness is small. I believe in miracles it keeps me here in this world. One day things will change for the better. I know that could be in a week or years.