Why is it that when you’re feeling even remotely happy or good about yourself something or someone has to knock you down?
I was so proud of myself for making it almost a whole 24 hours without cutting, and for me that was quiet an achievement, but them when I told a close friend (and the only person other then those on this site) about this achievement she proceeded to tell me about how pathetic it was to be happy about this, that normal people don’t count the days or hours that they haven’t cut, because there not stupid like me and don’t cut. I thought telling her about my problem would help me by having something/someone else to resort to besides turning to cutting to cope with my problems, instead she made me feel even more ashamed and worthless for being the way I am. I guess I only have myself to blame for having faith in a society that just keeps turning it’s back on me. (and others like me) I couldn’t even go 24 hours without cutting.
society = 1
me = 0
society wins again.
5 comments
Hi unfixable, 24 hrs without cutting is an amazing achievement. Your “friend”s opinion is crap. Imagine someone from Russia who is trying to learn English and manages to go 24 hrs speaking only English. Only a douchebag would belittle that accomplishment. Unfortunately society has a lot of douchebags. But that shouldn’t keep you from feeling good about what you’ve accomplished.
We’re all here because society has failed us in one way or another. There is definitely a problem, but it’s not you. Congrats on surviving 🙂
I guess I had just got used to society kicking me when I was down I just never thought it would come from a “friend” and I think that’s what really hurts the most because there meant to be there for you and care about you.
It’s hard to feel good about something, even a minor achievement; after it’s been diminished.
but I have learnt a lesson in all this and it’s to be really careful who you trust because only a small minority actually care the rest are just curious.
24 hours is great!!! Im happy for you!! I dont like this “friend” of yours. they sound like they dont really care about things that you achieve or are happy about. I just hope everything works out for you.
Happiness is incredibly fragile.
Any attempt to quantify it or define it results in its disappearance.
We share an experience of happiness with a friend and suddenly the experience changes? But what changed?
Your accomplishment is yours and your experience of it was real and there is no reason to connect it with you experience with your friend.
We all have our issues and the ability to remain present to others is difficult.
It is great when our friends can support us but a mistake to allow our sense of self to be dependent on that support.
If we are always looking for others to validate our experiences we can only end up disappointed and depressed
There is a part of all of us that seeks validation in others but this means that when another person’s experiences threaten our experience or identity were not going to respond well.
For whatever reason your experience threatened your friend and then their response threatened you.
You can see how separating what the real issue is and who needs to deal with what becomes quickly confused.
The best any of us can do is to develop an ego that is strong enough to stand on its own while at the same time being careful not to identify one’s sense of self, ones identity with the ego.
(This is the paradox of Buddhist teaching, in order to avoid identification with the ego a person requires a strong ego – the ego needs to be strong enough to accept that it’s not the self)
Those who love us the most are able to hurt us the most precisely because they are close and relationship impacts the identity of all involved. Turing to friends and family as therapists is a mistake
That’s not society. It’s just the thoughtless opinion of one person in your life.