Boys..?

Last year I had a bf for 4 months. Not exactly the longest relationship, but it was still pretty long. We had 4 classes together and lunch. His name was John. He was my everything and I was his. We were the couple that everyone thought was cute and would last forever you know? Of course it didn’t. We ended really bad. I tried to be friends with him but I miss him, and I think I still like him. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. He’s embarrassed to talk to me. Why does it hurt so much?