Let me burn.

Hello.

My name is. I feel that I shouldn’t say. Even though my account name is.. *facepalm*…

Anyways.

I am 16.

I’ve done suicide attempts for more than 30 times. Literally.

I feel not, the need of explaining why, I don’t want to live anymore because I’m tired of explaining things over and over again, and receiving no help.

I feel that nothing is greater than the coming of death.

That even if I am to be successful in the future, I think again. Is it really worth it?

I feel too much things, and I think too much.

And a lot of people do the same.

Most of them say, “Just think about the people who are going through much worse.”, or anything related to that.

I know they are going through tough days but If I can’t help myself how am I ever going to help people like those.

I may sound selfish when I say this, but I’m talking about me. Not them. People are different and we think different on the same situation. We feel different. Some stronger. Some lighter.

So I always try to make an example of myself by wearing a mask on my face with people that is going through this latter like I am.

And can’t seem to find a solution.

I feel and I think.

I fucking hate emotions.

If I were to let go of life, I would hurt too much people.

I am not sure who I am, and if I tell people this, they mock me for being selfish due to all my family has to done make a name for me.

But I am myself and they do not know, nobody will.

So I hang on to one impossible dream, my brother, my mother and one girl. They give me hope.

I am bad at picking words but this is all I have to say.

I want to end all this bullshit.

But just let me suffer. Let me wear a mask to hide my rotting soul and hopefully regenerate others.

Sometimes my psychotic mind takes over me and I just can’t seem to control myself when it does.

Hopefully I won’t do anything stupid for the sake of everyone out there.

I love you bro. Mom.

And I love you so much Cierra.

Thank you for wasting your valuable time reading this but I had to let some of it out through literature, I just cannot seem to talk like this orally.

I love you all.

Goodbye.

for now.