Thought I had something important to say. I lost my job a few months ago. Redundancy. Which should be shit, but I hated it anyway, and everyone I worked for, and redundancy is the best way to leave a job.
Anyway, I wanted to type something meaningful, but the only phrase going through my head is “fuck it” so I don’t anticipate anyone getting many nuggets of wisdom out of this post.
I dreamed about putting a gun in my mouth last night. The barrel tasted of bourbon. Wish it were real. Not out of any need for attention or anything, I’m just tired. I think I’ve had enough. I don’t know that I’m really depressed. I don’t feel down most of the time, but I still think about death a lot. I don’t think I have the balls to do it anyhow. I’m not going to try hanging again after last time. I need something with more certainty and I don’t actually have a gun anyway.
I wonder if Dawg is still around these days. It’s been ages since I went on here.
Yeah, sorry guys, nothing meaningful this time, if you were hoping for anything more. Think I might just sleep it off and figure out what to do about this tomorrow.
Peace.
1 comment
Sorry i missed your post … I kind of come and go a bit … but yes, I’m still around. Hopefully after all this time, you’ve been able to find your way to a better space within yourself – here’s hoping for that anyway.
hopeful dawg