ive been think lately, recently ive been diagnosed with a fatal cancer in the heart. in the first 2 mounths i was really emo and i pretty much cried every night till i accecpted it. that was almost a year now and i really dont have much time left, doctor say bout 1-2 mounths. all of my freinds and family are getting so upset that im dying, and i cant take te fat that im hurting them, the people i love. so i thought i could make there pain go away sooner.
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Society lives for the story of the terminally ill bravely accepting there fate.
The tears the good buys, the letting go can be inspiring.
There is pain but it is bitter sweet where through death life becomes more focused, brighter even.
I came across the following quote that I thought was interesting:
“The man suffering from a characterized sickness is not entitled to complain: he has an occupation. The great suffers are never board: Disease fills them, the way remorse feeds the great criminals. For any intense suffering produces a simulacrum of plenitude and proposes a terrible reality to consciousness, which it cannot elude; while suffering without substance in that temporal mourning of ennui affords consciousness nothing that forces it to fruitful action†– Cioran
I think there is a truth to what he says.
A person who is “physically†dying is better able to come to terms with it and that is his only task. His life is focused. To die well creates meaning for everyone involved.
Most of us will die of boredom, existential angst, unable to identify the mysterious “something†that is “killing†us. And unable to identify that “something†and create meaning.
Honestly… their pain will most likely not go away, whether you choose your own exit, or persist until the inevitable end. The illness is not your choice, nor is it your choice for it to cause anyone else to suffer. Those worth staying for, know this; or should. What’s a few months compared to the rest of a lifetime? It’s a blip. It’s a moment.
Try to spend your remaining moments on resolving unresolved conflicts, and leaving as few mysteries as possible, for those you know will wonder. Aside from that, try to enjoy some peaceful calm, while you can. Watch a sunrise, sunset, gaze at stars, listen to falling rain. Revisit some favorite memories. Hear/Read some jokes, write a poem, tell a story. Thank someone for listening, and for sharing a laugh or three. Find something to smile about, before the end. Don’t spend your last functional moments in misery. Savor them.