IÂ need something real do you know how I feel? This life is like living in shades of gray. You hold on so tight and then close your eyes but all you can feel is the life of a knife. I want some hope and I try to cope with my pain. I try to help others but not helping myself is driving me insane. My best friends left because of their selfish ways they cant understand the choices ive made. They say its my problem life is to good to be sad but thats because they dont have a sickness driving them mad. I need something real does anyone understand what I feel?