There’s a boy.I know you will probably skip this post because you don’t want to read the story of a broken hearted girl,but I will write it anyway because this is the book of my life and no one wants to read it.So I will write this story of love and blood here because this a story of a rock/goth/emo/satanic girl (or anyother names people use to call me) which secretly like a normal bo,you know,one of those cool guys that goes to parties and drink and probably think that my kind of girls must be burned alive or killed because they are freaks.What can I do?Whatch him everyday walking to school in front of me and I’m just walking behind him and thinking how would a relationship with him be?What can I do?To renounce at who I am for him?NEVER! I wanna be myself but he hates the people like me.I NEED HELP :((( Once,he saw my scars and asked me why am I so stupid to do that?Why am I cutting myself.I almost sterted crying and he came and embraced me.That was all.I don’t even think he knows my name.H
e hates people like me (depressed people) and I don’t know what to do.We are from different world.I’m a warrior and he’s just a normal human.I”m a fuckin’ warrior of our youth (IN BVB ARMY) and he’s just…. normal.I’m dark,he’s pretty.What can I do?
Sometimes I wonder if out there is somebody who loves me in secret as I love him.I don’t think so.
4 comments
I read it all. I don’t have any advice though. =( sorry.What do you use to cut yourself?
You have his attention – that is way better than nothing. Hes just a boy, scared to hurt you. Maby you look fragile to him and too dark. Do you think you could show him, that you like him?
Must hurt to like someone who you feel is very different from you.
Your arm looks very much like one whom I love very much, my daughter. She is a recovering cutter and I remember when she was actively cutting and how boys would be a trigger for her. She also has anxiety and depression. She hasn’t cut for a while and I am thankful for that because it hurt me deeply to watch her go through that and I being her father was powerless to stop. I read you post and admire your spirit because you are who you are and are not going to change for another person. It seems like a gamble when you try and reach out to people especially a love interest. Sometimes people just end up hurting or disappointing you. This boy cared enough to ask you why you cut on yourself. When he saw your hurt he embraced you. He has one thing many lack, empathy even though he started out by saying something insensitive. Do you ever ask the questions to yourself why you cut and when you started? I only ask because something very wrong happened to my daughter when she was young and it affected her so badly. You have the answers I am sure somewhere inside you and as painful as it may be to look at them, I believe you must so you can forgive and move on. Forgiveness is a key part to healing.