Strangers were nice to me today. The guy at the store gave me parts and fixed my computer for free. The man in the parking lot complimented my dog. The lady at the other store let me exchange stuff no hassle even though I didn’t have a receipt. I was nice right back. I helped 2 kids broken down at a gas station.
Strangers lulled me into a false sense of security that I can actually exist among them. That I am accepted. That I have a place in the cosmos.
And then I re-entered my world, the un-strange world, full of people who know me. Instantly they despise everything I do. They judge me. They hate me and I hate them back.
I know what you’re thinking: take faith in the kindness of strangers. The problem is strangers don’t remain that way. Strangers become acquaintances, and acquaintances become enemies. It always happens that way with me. Anything that becomes familiar becomes corrosive. Anyone who gets to know me learns to hate me.
For a long time I thought I could live my entire life among strangers. I’ve lived in so many different places they all start to look the same. I’m too tired to keep running. It all ends here.
3 comments
Wow I can relate to this post. I feel so alone. I still like interacting with strangers though. I don’t really have any friends anymore. I spend 95% of my time in isolation in my room on my computer. God I need to terminate my existence soon before I go crazy.
I can relate to this too. I love meeting new people but as for making friends, I don’t know how. How do you get close to someone? How do you keep them interested? I don’t know. The longer they hang out with me, the more they want to leave.
We don’t “make” friends… we allow them.