Partial suspension hanging. Only tested – not tried. Previously self-harmed by overdose and cutting that required lots of stitches. Also tried a handgun but pulled the trigger when the safety was on (fucking stupid) and then chickened out (it was hard enough to do it once).
@tupacorbiggie: I’ve considered that – jumping, I mean. We have a couple of bridges here but lingering pain and / or drowning isn’t something I think I want to risk. Both seem punishing ways to go. I’m more of a ‘pop a handful of Valium and chase them with a beer and hang’ kinda gal. I figure once the pills kick in I’ll be too tired to stand and just peacefully nod off.
🙂
First attempt years ago: jump in front of a train (aborted due to mugglers)
Second attempt (recently): helium
Most recent: swan-diving with perhaps an elegant back-tussel-somersault from the local bridge (thwarted by a recent fence project completion)
Painful. Very painful. You can feel the tube stabbing around inside you. It’s fucking horrible. And then I lost consciousness after a while, so I’m not quite sure what happened after that. Stayed in the hospital for two weeks before they decided it was accidental.
I don’t know how I’m going to end up offing myself. I’d like to get a firearm and shoot myself but I’m not sure if that’ll work out because of my involuntary stay at the psych ward for my last “attempt”.
I wish I had the freedom to just walk into a gun store and buy a gun. But my freedom has been stripped from me thanks to the system.
@ForeverLonely: There are security cameras on the bridge (they monitor them and are quick to act if you look like a jumper to them). Also crisis phones. You can always change your mind.
I’m with foreverlonely. That is where I want to go as well. I dream about it. It makes me happy just thinking about it. It’s really where I want to go but there is a bridge just slightly lower only about three hours away. San Fran on the other hand is across the country. The thing about the closer bridge is it doesn’t slow pedestrians so I would have to park and jump. I don’t think I would hesitate too much. If I have the courage to go up on the bridge there is no turning back for me.
@Smiley I don’t understand that. Why can’t you just walk out on the bridge and pretend to take some pictures with your phone? That way you could go home after awhile if you don’t want to jump. I’d need to do that a hundred times until I jumped one day I think.
tried it 5 months ago, stood on the edge..needed a drink to try and get over the survival instinct that kicked in big time..Went to a nearby pub just 100 metres from the cliff edge looking for some help, staff in the pub must of noticed something in me and called the police..i got arrested and sectioned..
Will soon be trying again same method..have learnt don’t wait, the more you wait the more your survival instinct kicks in..
get there and go..i learned something at least from that trip
@londonbloke: Yes. I think I’ve read that even though some people plan their suicides and reach acceptance, many are impulsive acts. I never thought of myself as impulsive and I have finished my plans and preparations but I am not yet at acceptance. So, I am thinking since I’m ready, it probably will be impulsive of me and just look planned. Something will happen and since everything is in order I will have nothing in that few seconds to hold me here and it will be swift.
@londonbloke I’ve often thought about Beachy Head.. What stops me is the journey, a couple hours & that would psych me out; there’s too much time to think then. As @DawgMom mentions about impulses, I’d need those too, however planned an exit was.
@DawgMom I’m prepared too but I think that I’m waiting on acceptance too. The last excuse is like a knot I’m clinging-to here at the end of my rope: that I don’t want someone to walk in and resuscitate me.
People come and go it’s nerve wracking. But it’s been a month now, the toughest days are the days where it’s noon and I keep thinking “I probably could’ve got away with it today.” There’s a David Bowie song where he sings something like “sliding down a greasy pipe, look both ways okay good no one saw you.” God damnit I always hated sneaking around.
It drives my anxiety and depression crazy. The days I feel most depressed are the days when I cannot tell if I’ll ever have the guts to kill myself. I’m not good with gambling I never bought a lottery ticket or scratch off for myself. I’ve also never tried to kill myself and I just want to have 1 hour where I can be calm and do this for myself.
That’s not going to happen though. We’d think that suicides might’ve been worried or (ironically) scared of death in their last thinking moments. At least 80% of my adrenaline and sweat is going to be about footsteps at my door. Everything always reminds me about the Army God bless it, they had a way of taking fun out of everything. We through grenades one day the drills took almost all the fun out of it. After the first few grenades got thrown down range the drills cheered up there was a festive feel to things. It took awhile though and I thought to myself “these guys are good.”
When I was in eighth grade, I tried choking myself and got as far as light headed before my mom came in and scared the crap out of me. She didn’t catch me though. If I could now I would hang myself. But I’m not going to >.<
I agree DawgMom and englishboy impulses and acceptance must play a key part to many..
I bet a lot of us on here have at some time or another reached that point when we are ready to depart be it with the pills in hand, rope around the neck or standing ready to jump 0r whatever the preferred method then have pulled back just at that last final moment..
I’ve accepted it that much i’m sure off…What I don’t understand is even though I also had the urges and desire I still was looking for more strength, hence me going to that pub for a drink..
I beat myself up about not going through with it, thoughts of why, its only one more step, all that kind of stuff, it drives you to despair it really does..
But in a strange kinda way it also makes me even more determined..
Hanging isn’t just about choking. There are ways to do it so that you cut off bloodflow before or instead of actually suffocating. That’s how I have it planned.
Also, I have chickened out many times. I think I chose the methods I did so I would have time to. Now, at point in my life I am seriously choosing the most lethal and quickest way so that I don’t have time to back out. Pills and beer should also help. Hell, even those on death row get a happy pill before heading to execution.
30 comments
Poison. Didn’t work.
Ran a car into a tree doing 100, broke a few bones was in a coma for a few weeks, disfigured my face. I did manage to kill the car tho
Next time, a gun to the head.
O.D on a mix of drugs. Didn’t work either. Had my stomach pumped, so not very close.
Partial suspension hanging. Only tested – not tried. Previously self-harmed by overdose and cutting that required lots of stitches. Also tried a handgun but pulled the trigger when the safety was on (fucking stupid) and then chickened out (it was hard enough to do it once).
@forsaken1: Were you drunk?
@noonoo12: I never got pumped but puked forever.
Oh, shit, reminds me that I also sat in the garage with the car running. Talk about puking. Damn.
Suspension hanging; would’ve worked if I hadn’t been found.. I’d already fallen out of consciousness.
Yes I was pretty well lit and on Xanax
@englishboy: It doesn’t take long to pass out so, lucky for you it was before brain damage and veggie state.
@forsaken1: Thanks and sorry. (Take that however you like it best.)
Or unfortunate that I was found. :/
I almost jumped off a parking garage.
Haven’t tried yet but I plan a trip to San Francisco. Thimk the hint is in the location.
@tupacorbiggie: I’ve considered that – jumping, I mean. We have a couple of bridges here but lingering pain and / or drowning isn’t something I think I want to risk. Both seem punishing ways to go. I’m more of a ‘pop a handful of Valium and chase them with a beer and hang’ kinda gal. I figure once the pills kick in I’ll be too tired to stand and just peacefully nod off.
🙂
12 gauge shotgun with 00 magnum buckshot… Coming up soon.
Gotta do it in this month. Got no barbiturattes. So good ol ropes would do.
First attempter, helium
First attempt years ago: jump in front of a train (aborted due to mugglers)
Second attempt (recently): helium
Most recent: swan-diving with perhaps an elegant back-tussel-somersault from the local bridge (thwarted by a recent fence project completion)
@DawgMom
Painful. Very painful. You can feel the tube stabbing around inside you. It’s fucking horrible. And then I lost consciousness after a while, so I’m not quite sure what happened after that. Stayed in the hospital for two weeks before they decided it was accidental.
Why did you puke when you were in the garage?
I don’t know how I’m going to end up offing myself. I’d like to get a firearm and shoot myself but I’m not sure if that’ll work out because of my involuntary stay at the psych ward for my last “attempt”.
I wish I had the freedom to just walk into a gun store and buy a gun. But my freedom has been stripped from me thanks to the system.
@noonoo12: The fumes make you dizzy and sick. Probably I didn’t do it right and so I got fucking sick. My head hurt and I just was hurling everywhere.
@tupacorbiggie: Sorry about the Feds.
@ForeverLonely: There are security cameras on the bridge (they monitor them and are quick to act if you look like a jumper to them). Also crisis phones. You can always change your mind.
I’m with foreverlonely. That is where I want to go as well. I dream about it. It makes me happy just thinking about it. It’s really where I want to go but there is a bridge just slightly lower only about three hours away. San Fran on the other hand is across the country. The thing about the closer bridge is it doesn’t slow pedestrians so I would have to park and jump. I don’t think I would hesitate too much. If I have the courage to go up on the bridge there is no turning back for me.
@Smiley I don’t understand that. Why can’t you just walk out on the bridge and pretend to take some pictures with your phone? That way you could go home after awhile if you don’t want to jump. I’d need to do that a hundred times until I jumped one day I think.
jump from beachy head..
tried it 5 months ago, stood on the edge..needed a drink to try and get over the survival instinct that kicked in big time..Went to a nearby pub just 100 metres from the cliff edge looking for some help, staff in the pub must of noticed something in me and called the police..i got arrested and sectioned..
Will soon be trying again same method..have learnt don’t wait, the more you wait the more your survival instinct kicks in..
get there and go..i learned something at least from that trip
@londonbloke: Yes. I think I’ve read that even though some people plan their suicides and reach acceptance, many are impulsive acts. I never thought of myself as impulsive and I have finished my plans and preparations but I am not yet at acceptance. So, I am thinking since I’m ready, it probably will be impulsive of me and just look planned. Something will happen and since everything is in order I will have nothing in that few seconds to hold me here and it will be swift.
@londonbloke I’ve often thought about Beachy Head.. What stops me is the journey, a couple hours & that would psych me out; there’s too much time to think then. As @DawgMom mentions about impulses, I’d need those too, however planned an exit was.
@DawgMom I’m prepared too but I think that I’m waiting on acceptance too. The last excuse is like a knot I’m clinging-to here at the end of my rope: that I don’t want someone to walk in and resuscitate me.
People come and go it’s nerve wracking. But it’s been a month now, the toughest days are the days where it’s noon and I keep thinking “I probably could’ve got away with it today.” There’s a David Bowie song where he sings something like “sliding down a greasy pipe, look both ways okay good no one saw you.” God damnit I always hated sneaking around.
It drives my anxiety and depression crazy. The days I feel most depressed are the days when I cannot tell if I’ll ever have the guts to kill myself. I’m not good with gambling I never bought a lottery ticket or scratch off for myself. I’ve also never tried to kill myself and I just want to have 1 hour where I can be calm and do this for myself.
That’s not going to happen though. We’d think that suicides might’ve been worried or (ironically) scared of death in their last thinking moments. At least 80% of my adrenaline and sweat is going to be about footsteps at my door. Everything always reminds me about the Army God bless it, they had a way of taking fun out of everything. We through grenades one day the drills took almost all the fun out of it. After the first few grenades got thrown down range the drills cheered up there was a festive feel to things. It took awhile though and I thought to myself “these guys are good.”
When I was in eighth grade, I tried choking myself and got as far as light headed before my mom came in and scared the crap out of me. She didn’t catch me though. If I could now I would hang myself. But I’m not going to >.<
I agree DawgMom and englishboy impulses and acceptance must play a key part to many..
I bet a lot of us on here have at some time or another reached that point when we are ready to depart be it with the pills in hand, rope around the neck or standing ready to jump 0r whatever the preferred method then have pulled back just at that last final moment..
I’ve accepted it that much i’m sure off…What I don’t understand is even though I also had the urges and desire I still was looking for more strength, hence me going to that pub for a drink..
I beat myself up about not going through with it, thoughts of why, its only one more step, all that kind of stuff, it drives you to despair it really does..
But in a strange kinda way it also makes me even more determined..
Hanging isn’t just about choking. There are ways to do it so that you cut off bloodflow before or instead of actually suffocating. That’s how I have it planned.
Also, I have chickened out many times. I think I chose the methods I did so I would have time to. Now, at point in my life I am seriously choosing the most lethal and quickest way so that I don’t have time to back out. Pills and beer should also help. Hell, even those on death row get a happy pill before heading to execution.