I go day by day trying to act like everything is wonderful. I am forced by others to maintain a smile on my face because if at any point I am unhappy, a whirlwind of shit talking begins. I get crap from everyone around me, so there’s no way that I can try to talk to anyone and try to get better. But I’m not allowed to ever feel upset? If I had a gun, I would already be dead, no doubt in my mind. I am tired of living and I am tired of people telling me that things will get better when they clearly are not going to. I am sick of people telling me that I am a coward for wanting this. I don’t care anymore. I truly don’t. Has anyone ever actually seen things get better? Because I feel like I’m waiting for rain in a drought right now….
Yes I have seen people get better, but you have to work for it like really really hard. And if you want to talk to someone about getting better this is a pretty good place, there are some really good people here that want to help
I agree with “forsaken”. Right now it may seem as if things will never get better, but things always change and no crisis lasts forever. I hope to see you get through it.
Things got way better for me. I went from my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend and everyone laughing and talking shit about me, to a wonderful boyfriend who I’m not planning on letting go of, an awesome best friend, I’ve disowned my biological family, my friends are my family now, and probably the brightest future I’ve seen all my life. If things can look up for a sorry-ass screw up like me, why not for you? 🙂
All you have to do is take that first step: hope