So i dont know how this works so i am gonna start off by saying why i wanna get run over by a bus. You see i fucked up my life big time by my own hands last year and also this year. even when i could see that i was ruining my life i didnt stopped. its like i was enjoying watching myself get rekt. i am so fuking stupid! my dad finally decided its better off that i leave college cuz becoming a graduate is not for me. then coming to MY ABUSIVE JERK OF A BOYFRIEND. yea it would require another […]
Tag:
Coward
I’m waiting until morning to blow a gasket. Because once everyone leaves, hes going right to bed and will get pissed off at me for talking about it. I’m so frustrated. I’m not ok tonight. So much anger, so many thoughts. It’s going to eat me alive, and fast.
The only reason I’m still alive right now is because I’m scared it won’t work or it will hurt. I know how I want to go, but it isn’t a guaranteed death…there’s the fact that I may be found, and there’s the fact that I just get really sick instead of dying. I’ve been researching to see if my method will really work or if I’ll just lay there forever with a messed up stomach. If I could be sure that I would just slowly leave, I would do it in a heartbeat.
I’ve said goodbye to everyone I need to. Only two people picked up […]
Still not getting any better. Laugh at everything. Interact with anyone. But still none. I still want to die (But I can’t. A lot of things to reconsider. It’ll be my fault if mother would go crazy, father would go back to drugs. My brothers’ lives would be affected. My girlfriend would be depressed again. So many things to reconsider but sometimes I just want to end it all.)
So, I’ll just cut and burn instead of committing suicide. Alternatives. I still want to die.
A coward. That’s what I am. I kept on running and running and running away.
In the end, I’ll just cry. Nothing changed. […]
All my life I’ve been nothing but a coward… Too afraid to step up to an abusive man (my mothers bf)… Too afraid to tell my mother he touched me in more than one inappropriate way… Too afraid to speak to people outside of my home for fear I wouldn’t fit in or fear that I would be a disappointment to more people other than just my family… Fear… Fear when I was taken away and put into foster care.. Being a coward for not just getting the fuck out and being on my own. A coward for never telling that one person I loved […]
I have a fucked up life.
Till my 11th class i was a good student and a person who had a lot of fucking confidence… I would say what I like infront of friends and often they get fucking angry at me.. One time i did some serious shit and talked to a friend on facebook pretending to be a girl. When he came to know about it he got angry…he fucking slaped me and i was wondering why he did that…i did not slap him back because may be i was too coward..
Other friends came and they rescued us…
I felt really low […]
Hi everyone,
I will try to keep it brief, after all I dont know how long I will be staying here.
So I just finished writing my notes, Don’t think I’ll go through with it, im too much of a coward.
I am 25 years old, just finished my degree in Business. I have no job, I have no go to apply for jobs. I interviewd for a company and they went in to recruitment freeze, I am still hoping they would hire me. Ive been waiting for over 6 months now.
I am still leaching on my parents and theyre working hard and I feel so bad for […]
I don’t want to die, but I made my mind: I have to. Unfortunately, I’m such a coward! It’s been month since I took the decision of killing myself. Months… And I keep postponing it, like everything else in my life… I would like it to be easy, but it’s not. It’s so hard to think to myself “This is the last time I see him/her. The last time I eat chocolate. The last time I take a bath.”, for everything…
I think that my suicide is so difficult to commit because I took the decision with my brain, not with my guts. I’m unhappy, […]
I couldn’t even get up today, i just didn’t see the point really. So I laid in bed all day thinking, and I reckon its about time I finally kill myself. I guess sleeping pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels will be the way I do it (I’m too much of a useless coward to try any other more painful methods) I wrote my will as well, (which was quite a a somber experience) I had trouble thinking of where all my money should go so I said for it to go to the Cancer Council, so it helps somebody I guess.
I don’t […]
Depression is killing me and its getting worst. Every morning i wake up defeated wishing i didnt wake up. Its hard to face the day without a drink or cutting into my thigh. I have no value to society i can honestly say everybody around me hates me i see the disgust in their faces counting the seconds till im gone. The only contact i have with people is being used to get drugs or take my money. I hate everything about myself my looks, personality and intelligences. I look at others thinking how great they are and how im practically invisible unnoticed maybe even […]
Can’t take it!! I feel like a constant failure all the time, everybody tells me that I’m great, that I’m awesome, brilliant, smart… My family loves me, my brother cares more about me that I do, my friends always bring me back up, but I just had lost it…
I suffer from anxiety and depression, I went to therapy when I used to cry every single time at any hour the second I got up my bed, it helped a little, but to be honest I never told her my truth feelings, then things at home got bad, my thoughts about family went from ‘amazing’ […]
The reality bout it is one day soon I will die by my own hands it feels good in a way. Some may think me selfish/coward but fuck them I’ve tried getting help but it’s like no one cares but I Spose they have their own lives to worry about so I’m done they done need me fucking with it
It hurts the way you ignore me
You put me on the edge hoping i drift away from you
Im always with you,
My only regret in life was sharing something beautiful with you.
You betrayed me let me fall and rust and disintegrate.
Now im dead, not in body but soul
I will hunt your conscience for the things you did, and for the things
you didnt.
Do you know how it feels to disintegrate over several years of pain and suffering?
Now im empty, filled only with the pain of old and new. My destiny seems to be
pain.crying.anxiety.hate.regret.suicide. Today,tomorrow,forever.
The pain fill my […]
Tomorrow morning I’m going to my first counseling appointment with a counselor of my choice who specializes in the areas I need help with most. Scared and anxious are words that don’t even do the situation justice. I’m beyond terrified, but I will be strong and I will not resist help like I’ve always done in the past. I wish I had just one person standing by my side, telling me I’m making the right choice and I will be okay, but I don’t. In the end we have ourselves and that has to be enough.
I have suicidal thoughts pretty much everyday that will […]
Pretty sure I’ll be doing it within a month. I’ve decided on a hanging, I’ve looked into the subject a lot and the best options are expensive, and the other options can leave you pretty messed up. Hanging can too of course but has a higher success rate and is cheap to do. I knew a guy who tried shooting himself in the hospital during a previous attempt so even guns aren’t a guarantee but nothing is really. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I notice most posts on here don’t have comments, so either no one reads or no one cares. That’s […]
I wish i would just do it, but why make the ones i love feel the way i do :(
by waste2304
written by waste2304
Hello im waste2304
I honestly don t know why im ganna air all this out here but i guess i hope i can help someone else see it the way i do today i signed up for this site because i need someone…anyone to listen to me i mean im going so crazy and i just need somebody who wont judge me to please just listen to me….every since i was 13 ive attempted to hurt myself a multitude of times…it made all the pain just go away…the depression was killing me and still does till this day…and people say they understand but they truly will […]
They say it’s going to get better. It isn’t. People who say it’s better to be alone than have bad company, have never truly been alone. They Don’t know how much it hurts. It hurts so much, I just want to rip my skin off so I can stop feeling it. One day, when I stop being a coward, I will be able to do it, and I will finally have peace and all the pain will go away. Life is too ugly for me to bear. People are too mean and I’m too stupid to not believe their lies.
I’m alone…The people I care about couldn’t care less about me. I finally found someone, and I truly, honestly loved her. I would do anything for her. And today she left me…I was 2 months clean, but that changed today. I took my razor and cut myself 6 times. I don’t want to live without her. I just want someone who cares. My mom is letting the ex boyfriend who beat her back into the house, my “friends” Â pretty much don’t care about me. I’m alone. My dad decided that across the state is where he wanted to be, instead of closer to me so […]
A lot of people say that Suicide is cowardly. I disagree. The one thing that is a constant source of apprehension and fear in humanity, is death. No one knows what happens when you die. Is there an after life? A heaven or a hell? Are we reborn? Or do we simply disappear?
Many of us are preoccupied with our own death and the preparations there of. We write Wills years in advance, we buy life insurance, we go to church and pray in hopes that through redemption we will obtain a better place in the afterlife that may or may not exist. We as […]
Up until recently I’ve been a pretty normal person, I don’t think anyone would suspect that I’ve been having frequent thoughts of suicide. I try my best to hide it and to act happy around people, but every now and then I just can’t. I like to be alone more often than not and when I am with people it’s hard to enjoy myself. I find myself faking a smile or laughing just so I’m not the only one not laughing. It’s as if I don’t have feelings anymore, I can’t feel any emotion, I just feel depressed, which I guess could be considered an […]
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