Try to make moments merry, playing some tunes, attempt at lightening up the mood. Again dismissed, unwanted commentary. Once again surrounded by family but I feel so alone, unneeded, unnecessary, my appetite lost, my brief content from visiting relatives gone, in a heartbeat. I can’t wait to leave.
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Sometimes families get together can be lonely places. I always felt that way with some of my family. Especially as I got older and some have gained material success and there I am struggling to make ends meet. That was when I was into comparisons but I don’t do that anymore and plus I am older now and my family rarely gets together. You have to create your own family other than the one you had no choice but were born into. A family can be more than getting married and having kids. It can be close friends you can count on, a church family if you believe that way or some other group that is positive for you. Sometimes our realities suck that we had no choice in but we do have choice in how we choose to live our life. Focusing on the negative just invites that old dark cloud of depression into your mind and once it settles in, it is hard to remove.
yeah family gatherings suck, im the youngest so when we have an exstended family gathering everyone else spends time talking to eachother because they all have something in common with eachother, so i waste my time listening to random conversations. a family is more than just biologically related people, its the ones that are there for you time after time, those that back you and those that pick you up when you fall. if that family isnt the biological family you have then to create it, find people one by one to trust and love, it might take years but theres no reason its not doable…