I cant sleep just too many thoughts going threw my mind like ” does he feel the same about me ” “why do I even think I have a chance” “whats the point anymore” . people don’t understand that the littlest things will make me upset. I want to sleep again, but tow hours a night isn’t enough. Thoughts of killing my self goes threw my head every night almost.. but then I think too myself when im dead ill still be judged and people will talk about me even more about ” the girl who killed her self”. if I ever did I think I would leave all my accounts to everything logged on have about a 3 page death note, and all my basketball shoes that cost a lot have someone’s name I care about most on them to give away. I want my mother to maybe start acting like a mother after something might happen. it would be better for my sister. I know her and I fight a lot but I really do care and I hate seeing her upset when my mom wont answer her phone and we haven’t seen her for a day, and we are just home alone. in the end if I did it. She would understand what she did.
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this is a hard post to comment on, probably why most people left it blank. forone there are so many valid issues and this is a sad post.
but upon reading it for the fifth time i think i may have something to say.
i really cant tell you if he feels the same way about you, or if you have a chance, but i do think the point is that you have more to live for than you think.
i mean we all get judged, and i bet you judge to. im not saying you do but its possible. people judge, its in our nature. we were built with a capacity to categorize people. not all of those categories are nice. that is an issue i don’t think anyone on this earth will live past. and my interpretation is that you have people you care for, you have people who care for you. it would be unfair to throw it all away and leave them hanging. people take death very harshly and in time may develop there own suicidal idealizations. and parents are a hard topic. people look to there parents for love, support and understanding and when there not there it leaves you feeling more alone and empty than ever, but you have your sister, and your sister needs you. due to personal issues in the past with my own life. i realize i made it through because other people were in the situation to. i had to stay strong for my siblings and i had to look out for them, but also i gave them a reason to do the same. some times when contemplating issues we have to take other people into account and just being there for them gives us purpose.
who are you shatteredglass? just wondering kindly. you are very wise
I am but shattered glass, just a voice to be heard in the wind