I want everyone to know that this is what I wanted, I just want to be dead. I don’t think that me killing myself is being a coward like I used to, now I am positive that those who go through with it is brave. For so long it has taken me a lot of bravery to actually go through with this. Once I read from this website, “In death there is nothing, and in nothing, perfection.” I just want to be perfect for once, by being nothing. My life has been filled with depression and sadness, and I want to feel nothing, forever.
I am sorry to those who don’t truly understand me and why I had to do this, and I hope they never feel the pain I have felt for so long in their life. I have suffered too much to handle anymore. My antidepressants don’t work, I have been to therapy, I have tried to be better, but I can’t.
To whoever finds this on my computer, please carry out these few wishes for me. For my funeral, please put me in the dress I wore to the last homecoming, and also tell everyone at my funeral I love them and none of it was their fault, I just had my own issues I couldn’t handle anymore. I don’t care anything about my funeral, as it isn’t for me, funerals are never for the dead, they are for the living.
I hope you all live a great life, and live to have great families and grandkids, and fall in love. I hope you never face anything like depression like I did, and if you do, you fight through it. I really did care, just not about my life anymore. Goodbye everyone, maybe I will see you on the other side.
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Can you email me before you go please?
It’s brl.cents@gmail.com
What is life? A dream? A gift? A curse? There is beauty. Everywhere. Look at the stars in the night sky. A waterfall. A child discovering the world. Music. And yet at times we can’t see past our own misery. The world is so much more than our own sadness. There is no universal purpose, but we can make our own.