I get it, believe me I get it

Ok ok, yes, I’m aware that there are people out there with bigger problems than myself. But I thought I’d post this, nonetheless.

I’ve got a lot of love in my heart. That’s fine, right? Yeah.

I’m sad to say, I have chased anything with boobs for awhile now, and I think it is partly because of me being adopted, the abuse I went through as a kid, and a relationship that has never been very good with my parents.

But anyways, I’m done chasing, and quite honestly, am ok with that.

I wake up in the morning or night, depending on when I sleep, and I feel empty. Like, what am I here for? I feel like, alone, and well, depressed as fuck. Usually I can try to make it go away a little, but it always seems to stay.

You see, relationships haven’t always been good in my life. I’ve got a few friends my age (most are from here), but most people I hang with are a lot older than me. I guess that that means I am a bit more mature that most guys my age, but I don’t know. (I’m 17)

I guess I long for love. Yes, romantic love from a woman, but not just that, just love that you may feel when just hanging with friends. I haven’t had a lot of good friends in my life, but am always willing to help out. I will never accept the credit though. It is god’s doing, not mine.

Anyways, why did I post? Don’t know. It just sucks feeling the way I do, and often I wonder what my purpose is in this pathetic existence of a life.