I don’t even know why I bother anymore. Honestly. I’m so miserable with life that I’m losing the will to fight. I don’t know what to do with college. I still live with my parents (21). I have a shitty paying job. Apartments are scarce. I smoke to relieve the stress life causes me. I can hardly sleep. Dreams avoid me. I lack skills. Talents. Hopes. Dreams. Wishes. I’m nothing but a waste of flesh. I feel like a useless creation. Everyone thinks I am capable of achieving great things. I don’t see it. It evades me. I feel like I have no reason to be alive. Is there a purpose? I have nothing to bring me joy. I don’t do anything. I lack the ability to enjoy anything. I come home and do nothing but regret the life I lead. I have no hobbies. What do you do when you just don’t want to bother anymore?
Because fighting just isn’t working for me…
4 comments
I know exactly how you feel..
I dont have a job, I live with my parents still (24) and I dont know exactly what I want in life either. That is part of life though. You start off in a shitty position and you get better as time goes on. If you are in college then you want something out of it, right? You may not know what that something is but when you see it you will know. There are plenty of us who dont know what to do with life but we just keep on movin on.
Don’t give up. 🙂 You might find something you really want to do with all you are – it just might take time for it to find you, coz in my experience, in searching you don’t find, in finding you haven’t been searching. 🙂 But I kinda like that. Even when it’s difficult. Patience is good, though so annoying and makes you despair :/, it can also make you the person you need to be to do what it is you find that you want to.
I will pray that you find peace in patience, the ability to accept your life as it is even now and enjoy it and that you will find joy in not yet knowing your destination!! It can be exciting when it’s a mystery 😉
@anotherperson
Things never improved for me. I’m 30. Nothing ever got better. I keep thinking that I’ve hit “rock bottom”, but the truth is that you can always go deeper. It can always be worse. The more optimistic you are, the harder it is when you fail.