another restless night

Thank you to all of you who responded to my previous post.  I appreciate the words of support and caring.  I used to be a very prolific writer… poetry, journals, short stories.  I have SO many journals from early on.  I used to think that one day I would write a book about my experience, this process.  And that’s what it is, isn’t it?  A process.  The thing is I’m tired of always being ‘in the process’ of getting better, ‘in the process’ of this or that.  I’m just tired.  I’ve accepted that I will always have a melancholy personality, with the medication I can keep things from going to extremes.  But then everything is dulled, which makes it hard to do things like write or feel pure joy.  But I digress, the title is another restless night, and that is what it has been.  I’ve been up several times during the night, this last time, well I woke up at 4am and just stayed up.  Sometimes I am my most productive at this time, took a shower and started the laundry, and am working on lesson plans for the beginning of the school year.  It makes up for the daytime, which is usually slower and interrupted by the strong urge to sleep.  Thank you for reading… have a good day, everyone!