A childhood of comlpete stagnation has left me entirely apathetic. Apart from my parents living a world apart (literally), there have been no major events in my life that have left me emotionally scarred. That being said, I feel so emotionless that I consider suicide on a daily basis. I’m still in school at the moment, but I’m coming up to my final year. I fear that as soon as I leave school, all contact with anyone besides my mum will be cut. Whenever I look to the future, all I see is myself commiting suicide. My indecisiveness and lack of motivation often lead me to feel incredibly frustrated, at which point I self mutilate. There are times when I feel genuinly sad, but that only occurs when I start to plan how to kill myself. (I live in sydney, and its not the easiest place to die in)
I’ve told one person about my self harm and suicidal thoughts, but I have never admitted what actually causes those feelings.
Is there anyone else feeling this apathetic? It would be great to know if there is someone feeling the same way I do.
3 comments
it sux when a couple, like parents, dont love each other like they should. if they are not complete together, they dont teach you love like they should
mismatched couples do a lot of wrong teaching, and its all over the place
I have no motivation to do anything most of the time. I basically just sit in one spot for days. I was typing this for two hours. Talk about apathy.