I get the impression you don’t sleep much, clevername.
It’s 4:10 AM here. A Jesus infomercial is on TV. This guy (televangelist) is performing miracles. He’s just drove Satan out of some guys crutches, and now the man’s legs work fine. It’s a miracle.
Yes, the idea of god does work in mysterious ways. It seems to effortlessly convince people of all sorts of things.
Like i mentioned in a recent comment, i struggle to sleep unless i can forget about tomorrow… or if i can’t forget about tomorrow for a whole day, and become so exhausted that it no longer matters, and i finally pass out and sleep for 12 hours. Or sometimes it’s closer to ~3 hours, and then i get woke up by my dog politely whining to be let out, and i have to get up and let him out, because everyone else pretends not to hear him, so that i’ll be forced to get up, because i “shouldn’t be sleeping all day.” Even though i may have been up for more than 24 hours straight, and in fact /should/ be asleep. But, you know, can’t tell people things.
You’ll be happy to learn that our mysterious God accepts all major credit cards now.
I wasn’t giving you a hard time with the sleep thing. I’m the pot, you’re the kettle, wear whatever shade of black you’d like.
I watched this video. It wasn’t bad, it reminded me of why Philosophy was by far my favorite subject during my short lived college stint.
I have big plans for tomorrow. Sleep in then do laundry. Could be worse, I could write some poetry.
I didn’t feel hassled, just a spontaneous expression of some rationalization of my sleep characteristics. Sometimes i get into a routine, and weeks zip by…
I think the first Vsauce vid i saw was the one about “inside a black hole,” which explores the concept of the “event horizon,” and visually expresses what “you are the center of your own universe” really means. I’ve been hooked ever since, but it’s pretty sporadic. I like the guy’s style, and how he tries to relate complex concepts to “normal people.” Making science and philosophy “relatable” is a worthy pursuit, imo. The video i linked is how i learned about the “phaneron.” I didn’t know that had a name until this vid, but the concept had certainly occurred to me. I’ve always been naturally inclined toward philosophy, but it was never “a thing i do,” until about… idk, 5 years or so ago. Before that, it was mostly haze-induced epiphanies and moments of clarity. When you’re busy surviving, you don’t have a lot of time or energy to really stop and think about things. But thinking back, i’ve been “suicidal,” at least off and on, for about 20 years. I always pondered “everything” when i had some down time.
My current sleeplessness actually is related to my living situation, and the fact that if i didn’t have to feel bad about showering at midnight, i probably would have done so, and gone to sleep soon after. But, instead, now i’m waiting for “a reasonable hour” to arrive, so i can do that without having to feel bad that it makes noise, and runs the risk of waking my niece. And then there was that girl with her crazy story… whether crazy because crazy, or crazy because reality, it certainly had my attention.
“Could be worse, i could write some poetry.” lol.
Yeah, or worse, you could try to write valid haiku!
OMG! You’re me! Except your daily schedule left out the 10 hour work days (5 days per week) and mandatory need to release “deadly sperm build up” before falling asleep. (Maybe that would’ve fallen under the category of TMI).
Weeks do zip by. Then they becomes months, then years. It goes by so fast. I’m starting to think if I don’t kill myself soon I’m going to get old. It will happen, I’m edging closer to that reality every day.
This is why I don’t give two shits about being healthy. I eat, smoke, drink whatever I want and I never visit doctors (unless I’m forced too). What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll die? hahaha.
Brb. Gonna burn one.
“What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll die? hahaha.” LOL xD
As for the ‘TMI’ bit… i’ve been less interested in such things lately. That whole realm of thought just depresses me to the point where i don’t even bother, until it gets to the point where i can’t ignore it.
On an unrelated note, my neck has been hurting a lot more, and a lot more consistently, lately. I messed it up a few times in high school, and again a few years ago when i wrecked my car being stupid (read: “angry and in despair”), and while it has always bothered me to some extent, since the first injury, there were times it was a non-issue… but it’s been gradually getting worse since the car thing, and seems to be accelerating in the last few months. It seems to bother me most when i have to use my hands in articulate and tedious ways, like guitar or clipping fingernails or lots of gaming or typing. Basically, anything i want to do, hurts my neck, which includes any type of job i could get.
Or maybe it’s just because i’ve been playing GTA4, and it’s making my body try to destroy itself in disgust. lol.
But without that one problem, things would be quite different for me. It’s just that i can’t seem to develop a way to reliably manage it, so i can’t really maintain a routine. I never know when it’s going to just wreck me, or when i’ll be fine for a day or few or some weeks. That plus (and contributing to) severe depression, makes my life quite unbearable at times, and “not good” most of the rest of the time.
I have occasional good days, but it seems like every time i do, it never fails, that someone or something (usually someone*) will inevitably ruin it for me.
I’ve been thinking of maybe going for a CDL/chauffeur’s license, and trying to do some pro-driver work. Even driving bothers me, but i would say i’m “good at it.” Or maybe learn to drive trucks. Or maybe… shit idk. Ideally i’d like to be independent and self-employed, in a way that i don’t have to worry about piss tests, but can more than adequately support myself. I’m just completely unsure about how to go about it, or which avenue(s) to pursue. Sometimes i feel sure, other times i feel totally lost and overwhelmed.
Wow. I’ve had a CDL since 1994. When I first got it I was a chronic pot head. I grew and sold high grade cannabis (back in the early 90’s). Quitting weed was hard. Very, very difficult. I had to disassociate myself from “all of them”, my friends. Everyone I knew smoked weed.
Grand Theft Auto? It’s all ’bout gettin’ that GTA, byatch. 🙂
It sounds like you’re at a crossroads, clevername. Hmm. You gotta figure out your next move. Whatever you do, it’s going to be unpleasant and difficult. Is death better? Idk. For you, I’m thinking not. Maybe I’m just being optimistic, but I don’t want to see someone with a firm command of the English language die prematurely. You should consider soldiering on, producing offspring, and helping to prevent “Idiocracy” from becoming a reality.
Dude, i would flood this globe with offspring, if it were a viable option. It might sound profoundly arrogant, but i think my genes have a high risk (lol) of producing intelligent beings, whether or not they end up being physically gifted. My mom was a dancer and my dad played football, both from “musical backgrounds.” I played football and learned some kung fu, and have always been musically gifted. I’m more suited for motion than force. And yet, i sit here in this damn desk chair… wondering what and how to do… or if i can even do “whatever works.” I don’t even know what that is, at this point.
But look around at all the women chasing abusive guys with high earning potential and provider prowess.
For the right pay, i would totally “soldier up.”
But i seriously doubt i could stop “Idiocracy” from becoming a reality. lol. That’s gonna happen no matter what i do (or anyone else for that matter). We’re out-manned and they have a massive head start. The best i could do would be to somehow elevate my status, so that i don’t have to compete with them for scraps… so that i’ll be the one providing their scraps. That’s the idea, anyway.
I think my next moves will have to be commitment to a nutrition and fitness plan, adjusting my environment to accommodate such a process, and getting any work. Because if i don’t go that way, i’ll end up going nowhere. It’s just that i get terrible anxiety from the fear of the staggering neck pains that can happen, and that anxiety screws up everything.
I think i still need more time to figure it out. If i end up with no more time to figure it out, i’m going to be a very angry and involuntarily motivated person, with a significantly lower than normal amount of tolerance for unnecessary problems or wastes of time. I never liked being “that guy.” But lately it’s looking like i don’t have much choice.
But yeah. I love weed, haven’t smoked in over a year, and can piss clean right now, but don’t want to put myself in a position to require that long-term, unless the pay is worth it. This factor is worth quite a bit to me, because cannabis is something that i thoroughly enjoy, and helps me not be so miserable. I often wonder if maybe that’s my biggest problem: not smoking. lol. In which case, i totally need to move to one of those green friendly states… which requires money, and preferably a “transferable” source of income. All the good jobs piss test. So the only other viable option is self-employment… so i need to figure out the fastest way to make an obnoxious amount of money, that won’t get me sent to prison or assassinated.
You’re a cool guy.
If SP starts a band, are you in? You wanna rock the mic, play lead guitar, what?
Lemme know.
Our first album will be called “Greatest Hits Volume One”.
Bring your A game, clevername.
I gots a whole bunch of ancient percussions and hand instruments from the late 70’s. I gots a drum set, 3 guitars and I can sing like Bing Crosby! 😀
Well, i did spend a significant percentage of the last 22 years somewhere between casual and extremely focused on guitar, but i haven’t touched it in a year, so my chops suck right now… and i know i can deliver some adequate on-pitch vocals, though my range probably sucks… but i don’t think i can do both simultaneously, at any acceptable performance level. I never quite reached a level of proficiency at combining the two, though i can do each well separately.
Honestly, i would make a good producer. I might not be the most original or creative person, but i can tell people when their songs are bad, and even demonstrate examples of how to improve it… but i don’t think i would actually like being in a famous or even gigging band, at this point in my life. It seems like a huge hassle, and is only worth doing if you’re getting rich doing it. Or maybe if you’re making “enough” to not worry, and banging multiple groupies every night.
Also: the “greatest hits” albums could all have pics of varies different kinds of cannabis combustion implements, or perhaps one particular device per cover.
You could even go with “greatest hits volume one re-issue – remastered” for the first album.
Then again, i’ve sort of lost the motivation to play guitar. I can imagine playing the most minimal and simplistic guitar that i can possibly play… like two alternating chords ringing out, one for each alternate measure, and then maybe a hammer-on and a bend somewhere. Maybe a third chord during an interlude bar or something. And we’re talking dyads, not even full chords.
Dude we could make the world’s most mellow stoner metal. Imagine an album full of 20 minute instrumentals that go absolutely nowhere, but sound really cool the whole time.
We need to get this band started. I have an idea for a movie, too.
We get the screenplay written, get the actors, director, whatever, and score the project.
I make a million, I’ll buy you guys some pizza.
You know this is brilliant. Let’s move forward.
19 comments
I get the impression you don’t sleep much, clevername.
It’s 4:10 AM here. A Jesus infomercial is on TV. This guy (televangelist) is performing miracles. He’s just drove Satan out of some guys crutches, and now the man’s legs work fine. It’s a miracle.
Wait!!
Someone got diagnosed with colon cancer, then she donated $500 and now she’s healed!!!
It’s a miracle!!!
God works in mysterious ways.
lol.
Yes, the idea of god does work in mysterious ways. It seems to effortlessly convince people of all sorts of things.
Like i mentioned in a recent comment, i struggle to sleep unless i can forget about tomorrow… or if i can’t forget about tomorrow for a whole day, and become so exhausted that it no longer matters, and i finally pass out and sleep for 12 hours. Or sometimes it’s closer to ~3 hours, and then i get woke up by my dog politely whining to be let out, and i have to get up and let him out, because everyone else pretends not to hear him, so that i’ll be forced to get up, because i “shouldn’t be sleeping all day.” Even though i may have been up for more than 24 hours straight, and in fact /should/ be asleep. But, you know, can’t tell people things.
You’ll be happy to learn that our mysterious God accepts all major credit cards now.
I wasn’t giving you a hard time with the sleep thing. I’m the pot, you’re the kettle, wear whatever shade of black you’d like.
I watched this video. It wasn’t bad, it reminded me of why Philosophy was by far my favorite subject during my short lived college stint.
I have big plans for tomorrow. Sleep in then do laundry. Could be worse, I could write some poetry.
I didn’t feel hassled, just a spontaneous expression of some rationalization of my sleep characteristics. Sometimes i get into a routine, and weeks zip by…
Something like:
wake
pee
coffee/smoke
poop
smoke
food
smoke
leisure/chores
smoke
scheming
smoke
food
smoke
computer (SP, gaming, browsing, scheming, research)
smoke
bed
Lately, it’s been more like:
wake
pee
email
coffee/smoke
email
SP
SP
SP
coffee/smoke
SP
SP
SP
coffee/smoke
gaming
gaming
gaming
coffee/smoke
gaming
gaming
gaming
coffee/smoke
food
smoke
SP
SP
SP
SP
smoke…
maybe bed…
???
I think the first Vsauce vid i saw was the one about “inside a black hole,” which explores the concept of the “event horizon,” and visually expresses what “you are the center of your own universe” really means. I’ve been hooked ever since, but it’s pretty sporadic. I like the guy’s style, and how he tries to relate complex concepts to “normal people.” Making science and philosophy “relatable” is a worthy pursuit, imo. The video i linked is how i learned about the “phaneron.” I didn’t know that had a name until this vid, but the concept had certainly occurred to me. I’ve always been naturally inclined toward philosophy, but it was never “a thing i do,” until about… idk, 5 years or so ago. Before that, it was mostly haze-induced epiphanies and moments of clarity. When you’re busy surviving, you don’t have a lot of time or energy to really stop and think about things. But thinking back, i’ve been “suicidal,” at least off and on, for about 20 years. I always pondered “everything” when i had some down time.
My current sleeplessness actually is related to my living situation, and the fact that if i didn’t have to feel bad about showering at midnight, i probably would have done so, and gone to sleep soon after. But, instead, now i’m waiting for “a reasonable hour” to arrive, so i can do that without having to feel bad that it makes noise, and runs the risk of waking my niece. And then there was that girl with her crazy story… whether crazy because crazy, or crazy because reality, it certainly had my attention.
“Could be worse, i could write some poetry.” lol.
Yeah, or worse, you could try to write valid haiku!
OMG! You’re me! Except your daily schedule left out the 10 hour work days (5 days per week) and mandatory need to release “deadly sperm build up” before falling asleep. (Maybe that would’ve fallen under the category of TMI).
Weeks do zip by. Then they becomes months, then years. It goes by so fast. I’m starting to think if I don’t kill myself soon I’m going to get old. It will happen, I’m edging closer to that reality every day.
This is why I don’t give two shits about being healthy. I eat, smoke, drink whatever I want and I never visit doctors (unless I’m forced too). What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll die? hahaha.
Brb. Gonna burn one.
lol.
“What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll die? hahaha.” LOL xD
As for the ‘TMI’ bit… i’ve been less interested in such things lately. That whole realm of thought just depresses me to the point where i don’t even bother, until it gets to the point where i can’t ignore it.
On an unrelated note, my neck has been hurting a lot more, and a lot more consistently, lately. I messed it up a few times in high school, and again a few years ago when i wrecked my car being stupid (read: “angry and in despair”), and while it has always bothered me to some extent, since the first injury, there were times it was a non-issue… but it’s been gradually getting worse since the car thing, and seems to be accelerating in the last few months. It seems to bother me most when i have to use my hands in articulate and tedious ways, like guitar or clipping fingernails or lots of gaming or typing. Basically, anything i want to do, hurts my neck, which includes any type of job i could get.
Or maybe it’s just because i’ve been playing GTA4, and it’s making my body try to destroy itself in disgust. lol.
But without that one problem, things would be quite different for me. It’s just that i can’t seem to develop a way to reliably manage it, so i can’t really maintain a routine. I never know when it’s going to just wreck me, or when i’ll be fine for a day or few or some weeks. That plus (and contributing to) severe depression, makes my life quite unbearable at times, and “not good” most of the rest of the time.
I have occasional good days, but it seems like every time i do, it never fails, that someone or something (usually someone*) will inevitably ruin it for me.
I’ve been thinking of maybe going for a CDL/chauffeur’s license, and trying to do some pro-driver work. Even driving bothers me, but i would say i’m “good at it.” Or maybe learn to drive trucks. Or maybe… shit idk. Ideally i’d like to be independent and self-employed, in a way that i don’t have to worry about piss tests, but can more than adequately support myself. I’m just completely unsure about how to go about it, or which avenue(s) to pursue. Sometimes i feel sure, other times i feel totally lost and overwhelmed.
Wow. I’ve had a CDL since 1994. When I first got it I was a chronic pot head. I grew and sold high grade cannabis (back in the early 90’s). Quitting weed was hard. Very, very difficult. I had to disassociate myself from “all of them”, my friends. Everyone I knew smoked weed.
Grand Theft Auto? It’s all ’bout gettin’ that GTA, byatch. 🙂
It sounds like you’re at a crossroads, clevername. Hmm. You gotta figure out your next move. Whatever you do, it’s going to be unpleasant and difficult. Is death better? Idk. For you, I’m thinking not. Maybe I’m just being optimistic, but I don’t want to see someone with a firm command of the English language die prematurely. You should consider soldiering on, producing offspring, and helping to prevent “Idiocracy” from becoming a reality.
Dude, i would flood this globe with offspring, if it were a viable option. It might sound profoundly arrogant, but i think my genes have a high risk (lol) of producing intelligent beings, whether or not they end up being physically gifted. My mom was a dancer and my dad played football, both from “musical backgrounds.” I played football and learned some kung fu, and have always been musically gifted. I’m more suited for motion than force. And yet, i sit here in this damn desk chair… wondering what and how to do… or if i can even do “whatever works.” I don’t even know what that is, at this point.
But look around at all the women chasing abusive guys with high earning potential and provider prowess.
For the right pay, i would totally “soldier up.”
But i seriously doubt i could stop “Idiocracy” from becoming a reality. lol. That’s gonna happen no matter what i do (or anyone else for that matter). We’re out-manned and they have a massive head start. The best i could do would be to somehow elevate my status, so that i don’t have to compete with them for scraps… so that i’ll be the one providing their scraps. That’s the idea, anyway.
I think my next moves will have to be commitment to a nutrition and fitness plan, adjusting my environment to accommodate such a process, and getting any work. Because if i don’t go that way, i’ll end up going nowhere. It’s just that i get terrible anxiety from the fear of the staggering neck pains that can happen, and that anxiety screws up everything.
I think i still need more time to figure it out. If i end up with no more time to figure it out, i’m going to be a very angry and involuntarily motivated person, with a significantly lower than normal amount of tolerance for unnecessary problems or wastes of time. I never liked being “that guy.” But lately it’s looking like i don’t have much choice.
But yeah. I love weed, haven’t smoked in over a year, and can piss clean right now, but don’t want to put myself in a position to require that long-term, unless the pay is worth it. This factor is worth quite a bit to me, because cannabis is something that i thoroughly enjoy, and helps me not be so miserable. I often wonder if maybe that’s my biggest problem: not smoking. lol. In which case, i totally need to move to one of those green friendly states… which requires money, and preferably a “transferable” source of income. All the good jobs piss test. So the only other viable option is self-employment… so i need to figure out the fastest way to make an obnoxious amount of money, that won’t get me sent to prison or assassinated.
You’re a cool guy.
If SP starts a band, are you in? You wanna rock the mic, play lead guitar, what?
Lemme know.
Our first album will be called “Greatest Hits Volume One”.
Bring your A game, clevername.
I can play the maracas!! 😀
kewl. Percussionists are always welcomed.
Cowbell is good.
I gots a whole bunch of ancient percussions and hand instruments from the late 70’s. I gots a drum set, 3 guitars and I can sing like Bing Crosby! 😀
Well, i did spend a significant percentage of the last 22 years somewhere between casual and extremely focused on guitar, but i haven’t touched it in a year, so my chops suck right now… and i know i can deliver some adequate on-pitch vocals, though my range probably sucks… but i don’t think i can do both simultaneously, at any acceptable performance level. I never quite reached a level of proficiency at combining the two, though i can do each well separately.
Honestly, i would make a good producer. I might not be the most original or creative person, but i can tell people when their songs are bad, and even demonstrate examples of how to improve it… but i don’t think i would actually like being in a famous or even gigging band, at this point in my life. It seems like a huge hassle, and is only worth doing if you’re getting rich doing it. Or maybe if you’re making “enough” to not worry, and banging multiple groupies every night.
Also: the “greatest hits” albums could all have pics of varies different kinds of cannabis combustion implements, or perhaps one particular device per cover.
You could even go with “greatest hits volume one re-issue – remastered” for the first album.
People waste time putting out album one, two, three, etc. I say fuck it.
Debut with a greatest hits, and start from there.
Then again, i’ve sort of lost the motivation to play guitar. I can imagine playing the most minimal and simplistic guitar that i can possibly play… like two alternating chords ringing out, one for each alternate measure, and then maybe a hammer-on and a bend somewhere. Maybe a third chord during an interlude bar or something. And we’re talking dyads, not even full chords.
Dude we could make the world’s most mellow stoner metal. Imagine an album full of 20 minute instrumentals that go absolutely nowhere, but sound really cool the whole time.
@ Clever: Most punk rock “legends” were three chord prodigies.
This is SO doable.
Love it!!
We need to get this band started. I have an idea for a movie, too.
We get the screenplay written, get the actors, director, whatever, and score the project.
I make a million, I’ll buy you guys some pizza.
You know this is brilliant. Let’s move forward.