Spider Death?

I just killed a huge spider that was peeking at me going to the bathroom. Don’t you hate that..when you’re helpless on the toilet and a spider comes crawling up to you or on the wall next to you? And you can’t just kill it right away cuz if it gets away, you’re still stuck on the can! Then they disappear and it’s game over for the toilet crusader!

Lucky this one didn’t disappear on me. I finished my business and I got up and sprayed it with the bug spray till it was blinded and fell to the floor. Then I quickly dispatched him with a tissue.
I felt like the hero of the hour, like I was doing gods work.
But also in that instance when I flushed him down the drain I felt an overwhelming sense of sympathy and regret for his short lived little life. I thought about what if the rolls were reversed, and I was the spider. I started to question myself.. “Is it wrong?” “Am I wrong?”. “Am I the devil?” I mean…I was just taking a crap! 😐 I swear I didn’t ask for this. But now I fear retaliation in my sleep!! I’m sure that spider had connections.

Sometimes I wonder if the spider could see it coming, if he knew he was going to die. What would the spider do to prepare himself for the end if I’d given him a little bit more time to think about his demise? Would he have enjoyed one last sunrise? Would he have tried to contact loved ones, or maybe made one last piece of artwork with his webbing? What if he was a spider with great honor and integrity? Ugh..I’m such an asshole!! 😕

Yes it’s cruel to take a life..no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. And in a way..it’s frustrating I can’t do my manly duties around this house without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders! 🙁 *flush*