Born Blue made happy

Ive always been a strange child but to complicate my already loner ways when i was 10 i was raped for the first time furthering my dislike of anyone with a pulse. Slowly, although still a strange child I found a group of outcast not as myself but not let in the elite inner circle to hang out with. that is until i was raped for the 2nd time at 15, this time it wasnt quick and it wasnt just one person for almost a day they did things to me that still haunt me to this day. After these events my predetermined odd nature and newly found odd humor led to my social death as if there was a life of that sort to start with. After 7 suicide attempts from age 12 to 18 and multiple self harm incidents and so many nights wondering why i was here at all, I have found my light. I may have been dealt a crappy hand with a few things but i am something not everyone is a survivor in more than one light, I can help those who are made my family through the same circumstance where others can only imagine and read books to feel their pain but i dont have to feel their pain because its one i have had in me for a long time, my light is a way to stand firm against those who have struck me down and be as sand getting firmer against adversity and that sea of misunderstanding. If you are lying in bed at 3 am in the morning fingernails digging into your arms, eyes bloodshot because the tears are too tired to come; just know that you may think youre not worth life but the fact that youre story, youre life can inspire and save others is the best worth in life to have. I may have been born into the blue of misfortune but that misfortune has made me happy for the first time in my life.