I’m in the arms of my two year old niece, who says “don’t cry titi, it’s okay” and I can’t help but get the thought that at this moment- she is worth fighting the urge for. For this very moment, I will not give up for her.
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Hi Shaynax,
Listen, I’ve been where you are. In 2006, I attempted the unthinkable: what you are thinking of doing. LUCKILY, it didn’t work. I tried a couple more times, LUCKILY they didn’t work either… and for once, failure was actually a GOOD thing. It’s been almost 8 years now. Had it worked… I would have never been at my own graduation, missed my sister’s wedding, and what will surely be my future niece or nephew. I also never ever thought I would be able to do sales on the phone for the next 7 years.
Think for a moment all the stress you have that feels unbearable. Your family members and friends, even though you may not believe me, they will end up with the same pain day in and day out.
I know it feels like it will never go away — I can’t say I never get spurts of depression but I ALWAYS tell myself it’s the 1 thing I will never do no matter what… and as I said for nearly 8 years I never even attempted. If I can do it, you CAN too.
kevin.flack@rogers.com is my email but I’m not a professional counsellor.
I’d highly recommend calling the below # as they are pros and only on this.
1-800-784-2433
Thanks very much. The thing is I’m confident it will all pass, my struggles all come from the waiting to get where I deserve to be. The in between between my recent suicide attempt and where I am to pure recovery. I have the Samaratins Suicide Hotline on speed dial and they truly help. my therapist gave me her direct to call as well in emergencies. I’m happy I didn’t have to call either tonight. I’m happy you replied to this post. I am also happy for you, for recovering and now helping others with your words.
I know what you mean about the in-between… I’m actually in the same situation right now. I’m turning 30 on Friday and I just feel ‘out of it’. I’m moving back to my home town but with no job and have to reconnect with a lot of old friends… but I’ve become very unconfident and more shy… basically that others know more than me, are smarter than me, etc….. feel like I’m not a well-rounded individual. But, that’s okay because eventually it will pass like you said, and the bottom line is our lives are worth it. 🙂
PS: I did send you a FB message but don’t know if u got it.