I never have been happy my life has always been a complete wreck. I have never been what you call happy I am not even sure that I know what happy even feels like today has been a rough day my GF of 9 months has left me. I sit here and cock and squeeze a gun its not loaded I ponder if its worth it. I am 21 years old I feel like a complete and utter train wreck things day by day I ponder about the past and about how people had mistreated me, As a teenager I had attempted to hang myself only for a friend to find me in time to cut me down. Why does life keep giving me a fighting chance someone like me who is untalented and just a complete waste of life why was I put on this earth to feel all of this pain. Many think that I am happy but that is so far from the truth I have a stable job not really a caring family growing up in a one parent household was rough my mom has severe mental health issues I had to move back home to care for her, At 21 years old how is one to care for themselves when all there time is spent on making sure a household runs smoothly I often take out the Glock 22  sitting in my draw and put it in my mouth and eventually just break down to the point where I start crying uncontrollably maybe I do want to live maybe I do not. I am here because I need a place to share my frustrations my thoughts that if I were to share with freinds family they would possibly send me to the laugh factory I do seriously hope that someone out there will come across my post and comment with whatever advice words of wisdom that they may offer that is all for now
3 comments
I…can’t say I know what your going through…honestly…but I’ve been on the other end of pain like yours when the person like you didn’t want to live which is why I’m now here…it’s hard to live, but it’s even harder to die. I hope you can find what your looking for here on this site…if you ever want someone to talk to, I’ll listen.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post yes that would be nice to have some to talk to sometime
You can email me at jamieesterlee@gmail.com if you ever need to and your welcome…I’m only on SP sporadically but I try to make a point to be there for other people even if they are strangers.