I’m trying so hard to keep my shit together, not for me but for the sake of my little sister. My efforts aren’t good enough to keep myself from crumbling and with no support from hardly anyone I can feel myself slipping. I’m fighting this feeling but the forces in life that present themselves as family, “friends” and school just knock me back down onto my knees. I’ve screamed, cried and smiled to try and make it all better, but I can’t do it. No one can say that I didn’t fucking try, I did! I tried my fucking hardest but it’s not enough and it probably will never be enough.
I guess this post is me just trying again. Trying to get my thoughts together and suppress this darkness. There’s only so much someone so young can take.
Screw trying, maybe I should just succumb to the darkness and let it take over? I’m just tired of trying.
4 comments
Arent we all. Just keep up the tries. “Ok” is the only sure thing for you.
I know how it feels to keep getting knocked down whenever you are just climbing to your feet.
Is there something you can do to refresh yourself? I’m trying to think of what refreshes me that might appeal to you but I’m afraid I’m too old and stuck in my ways…My go to is wine and I think you are too young.
What refreshed me when I was younger were long walks in nature with my headphones. Anything with nature always helped me. And baking did as well.
I’m sorry I have so little to offer someone who is actively searching. Good luck.
I’m about ready to stop trying
I’m tired of trying to. But, what if the hill we are climbing is just about to descend? Ok, yeah, I didn’t buy that either lol