I just can’t figure  out any reason to keep living. I bring no significance to this world. I contribute nothing. Everyday is torture knowing that I’m going to die. It’s like knowing that every day is your last day. This is definitely it for me. I’ve set a date. Soon this will all be over. I just must do a few things before I go and I have to wait for the money to get what I need.
There’s no way life was meant to be like this. The only thing that would fix me is a whole new brain. My brain just isn’t right and my thinking can’t be fixed. I want to die. I want to die all the time. This thought has plagued me nonstop since I was a child. Now I’m in my 30s and nothing has changed. I need to rid myself and this world of this pain. I don’t matte to anyone. I have no significance to anyone. No one understands what it’s like to fight suicidal thoughts 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can’t stop crying. There isn’t anything normal about me. I’m wasting my doctor’s time and I’m wasting money I don’t have. Therapy is pointless, and at the end of the day, everything in the world revolves around money and I don’t have any.
Life is pointless… it always has been. I can’t endure the pain. I’m too weak. I must go.
Missing by Evanescence
1 comment
Well I do understand being suicidal allthe time. Seriously, it’s whenever you see a car you think of jumping under it, whenever you are in high building, whenever you see something sharp and death is always there in your mind. But why? Imeanwhy not to makeit significant? You know whatever is is…you can change your life. I mean tellme onething you can’t do nowadays. Wellokay you can’t switch brains but you could probably asksomeone to hypnotize you into duck…Life is supeou needto make it meaningful. Only you can. And fixing nah but maybe something else.
And my space is broken, try to make some sense.
And you do matter