I’ve been spending so much time focusing on school…I’ve tried so hard so far…I even told my friends and boyfriend that I needed a break from all of them so that I could focus on school and get things sorted out…My grades have slipped…I can’t focus…I got screamed at by a teacher…and my parents…I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s been 9 days since my last cut…I might not make it to ten days if this keeps up…I feel so useless and worthless and empty…I don’t know what to do…
(sorry for all of the ellipses,((the …’s)), it’s just my thought process.)
5 comments
My grades have slipped and I skip school. I suppose that I have detached myself from my emotions, because although I do not feel worthless, I KNOW that I am worthless. I hope that you don’t cut yourself anymore, as cutting yourself is a habit. Perhaps you can spend time sleeping instead? I sleep all of the time because I hate being awake.
Hey there,
So I’ve been in the exact place you’re in now. I think it’s really great you’re trying to focus on school, but I am sorry that things haven’t been working out. Just a suggestion, but I think having your friends and boyfriend around could be good (assuming they are very supportive). It’s so important to have a good support network around you. Surround yourself with people who you can talk to. It’ll help. Trust me. But also be sure to give yourself just some alone time where you can be you because being around people can get exhausting.
Right now, I am assuming the urge to self harm is high. I won’t lecture you on how cutting is bad/evil//stupid etc. I get its a good release.. A much needed release.. All I can say is be safe.
Have you seem a psychiatrist or psychologist? You’re at school right? I’m sure there would be a counsellor you could talk to there. They can help you with school amongst other things (hopefully). They’d be able to arrange something with you. It’ll take a huge load off your shoulders once that’s sorted.
Take care x
Oh also, to op and depressednihilist, you’re not worthless.
No one is. Life may feel worthless but we are not. It’s important to distinguish because each of us are so unique, so special and so important. Even if we do not realize it ourselves. In someone else’s eyes, whether it be a parent, friend, stranger, we are all someone who contributes to this world.
Thank you guys so much…I didn’t get to read these until now. I was super depressed at the time and was feeling really low. I didn’t cut, and things are starting to look up a little bit. I can’t really talk to any councilors about anything because every time I went to see a councilor, they called my parents, then I got yelled at them for “making things up” and then I started cutting all over again and now it’s become a habit :/ As of now it has been 10 days, 14 hours, 17 min, and 38 seconds since my last cut. My support system is nearby, and thank you guys for telling me I’m not worthless…
Congratulations for not cutting 🙂 It sucks that your parents don’t understand what you’re going through. Is it worth just sitting down with one parent (the one who’s more accepting or you’re closest too) and just having a chat with them? I found it hard when I was depressed to talk to both and when the psych would talk to both my parents, convos would pretty much also go along the lines of “you’re making shit up.” I guess it’s because (well in my family anyways) my dad was the leader and he thought I was making stuff up so my mum went along with it. When I finally managed to pry my mum away and really sit down with her and get everything off my shoulders that she realized I needed help and this wasn’t some attention seeking phase. Hope things work out x