Geez, what’s the rush? Marriages rarely last anyway. It’s silly that for some people one’s value depends on whether they have a spouse or steady p-rtner. If someone wants that, fine, but otherwise it shouldn’t matter. Ridiculous. I haven’t seen much good come out of marriage. It’s better to stay noncommittal. But that’s just me. For people who want kids and a family, I suppose marriage would suit them, but I’m not that type. Anyhow. Tell your mother that YOU are the most important person in your life, and it really doesn’t matter if you are in a committed relationship or not. Why do parents or family members even care about this stuff? I never understood it. Everyone should be free to live the way they please (as long as they aren’t harming anybody else).
My response to such a comment might be something along the lines of: “you, of all people, want to talk about disappointment? How ’bout you look in the mirror?”
Is your mother married? If not then that’s a very stupid statement to make….even if she is what affect does you getting married have on her life?…..its like getting mad that your adult son or daughter doesn’t have gym membership…..is that something that affects them? nope not one bit
Hmm I have 6 sisters and two brothers…all of them except one have been married and divorced several times except one and he is still married to the same person. I have been engaged a total of 4 times and never went through with it, i’m so glad that I didn’t cuz that would be 3 divorces already! I am engaged now and supposed to get married in march but I have already decided recently (secretly) I am not going through with it this time either. I am not going through with it when there are so many problems. Im just glad I never went though it and I saved myself the cost of a divorce. I don’t feel like its important to be married anyway.. If you love each other you don’t need a piece of paper and a title to stay together. I wish I could just find one good friend to get out and do things with like shopping that would make me happier than a man so I am going to try and work on that next just finding one good friend
I have a… hypothesis, that motherhood necessarily induces some degree of insanity, which never completely “heals.” Motherhood cripples females. Most seem to find a way to manage it, but some less-well than others… and surely no one would dare suggest the notion that most-if-not-all-mothers, are indeed insane, due to motherhood. I’m pretty sure that’s where the OP’s mom’s comment originated.
@clevername HAHAHA. You’re completely right. I hope to gawd that I’ll never become accidentally pregnant (unless at some point I actually want kids, which seems unlikely now). Some mothers are cool, but they seem to be in the minority. Fathers have a better deal of it, but it changes them too. Anyway, you know, for people who want children it’s all well and good. It doesn’t make them any less of a cool person and stuff. It’s just very difficult… mentally.
@persephone…. I’m not sure you want to go that route….it takes longer to recover and its defined as major surgery so you can expect the bill to be substantially larger than regular child birth….makes me happy men can’t get pregnant…..
I wonder whats more painful a swift kick to the crotch or child birth
Eh well I was insane before I had kids so it wouldn’t mater if it made me alittle more insane an it nvr was really stressful to much for me (being a mom)but I never was a “normal” mom and I never really grew up much mentally .I didn’t set a lot of rules only like 2 and that was no curfew as long as they did ok in school and never go anywhere without me knowing where they were. Guess it worked ok for them cuz one is just starting college now with scholarships, all of them are so thoughtful, kind and polite and no1 has ever failed school. Just wish 2 of them weren’t so quiet cuz I worry about them
What can I say? Nothing I have ever done has been enough for her. I can’t live up to her expectations (and yes, she is married). Between my mother and my sister, they’ve given me all the reasons in the world for my 4 attempts. Today someone else has given me another reason, as I realise I have absolutely no one in the world to turn to anymore. Everyone just wants something from me, and I have nothing left to give.
13 comments
Geez, what’s the rush? Marriages rarely last anyway. It’s silly that for some people one’s value depends on whether they have a spouse or steady p-rtner. If someone wants that, fine, but otherwise it shouldn’t matter. Ridiculous. I haven’t seen much good come out of marriage. It’s better to stay noncommittal. But that’s just me. For people who want kids and a family, I suppose marriage would suit them, but I’m not that type. Anyhow. Tell your mother that YOU are the most important person in your life, and it really doesn’t matter if you are in a committed relationship or not. Why do parents or family members even care about this stuff? I never understood it. Everyone should be free to live the way they please (as long as they aren’t harming anybody else).
My response to such a comment might be something along the lines of: “you, of all people, want to talk about disappointment? How ’bout you look in the mirror?”
Is your mother married? If not then that’s a very stupid statement to make….even if she is what affect does you getting married have on her life?…..its like getting mad that your adult son or daughter doesn’t have gym membership…..is that something that affects them? nope not one bit
Hmm I have 6 sisters and two brothers…all of them except one have been married and divorced several times except one and he is still married to the same person. I have been engaged a total of 4 times and never went through with it, i’m so glad that I didn’t cuz that would be 3 divorces already! I am engaged now and supposed to get married in march but I have already decided recently (secretly) I am not going through with it this time either. I am not going through with it when there are so many problems. Im just glad I never went though it and I saved myself the cost of a divorce. I don’t feel like its important to be married anyway.. If you love each other you don’t need a piece of paper and a title to stay together. I wish I could just find one good friend to get out and do things with like shopping that would make me happier than a man so I am going to try and work on that next just finding one good friend
I have a… hypothesis, that motherhood necessarily induces some degree of insanity, which never completely “heals.” Motherhood cripples females. Most seem to find a way to manage it, but some less-well than others… and surely no one would dare suggest the notion that most-if-not-all-mothers, are indeed insane, due to motherhood. I’m pretty sure that’s where the OP’s mom’s comment originated.
…and before anyone goes getting all ‘offended,’ don’t worry, mine’s crazy too.
@clevername HAHAHA. You’re completely right. I hope to gawd that I’ll never become accidentally pregnant (unless at some point I actually want kids, which seems unlikely now). Some mothers are cool, but they seem to be in the minority. Fathers have a better deal of it, but it changes them too. Anyway, you know, for people who want children it’s all well and good. It doesn’t make them any less of a cool person and stuff. It’s just very difficult… mentally.
@clevername…. I think forcing a 6-14lbs object through the vagina makes them that way…..
@Pain Ewww, don’t talk about it. There’s such a thing as Caesarean section, too. If I ever end up with a kid that’s what I’m doing.
@persephone…. I’m not sure you want to go that route….it takes longer to recover and its defined as major surgery so you can expect the bill to be substantially larger than regular child birth….makes me happy men can’t get pregnant…..
I wonder whats more painful a swift kick to the crotch or child birth
@clevername… well that would explain my mom, she was multiple cards short of a full deck.
Eh well I was insane before I had kids so it wouldn’t mater if it made me alittle more insane an it nvr was really stressful to much for me (being a mom)but I never was a “normal” mom and I never really grew up much mentally .I didn’t set a lot of rules only like 2 and that was no curfew as long as they did ok in school and never go anywhere without me knowing where they were. Guess it worked ok for them cuz one is just starting college now with scholarships, all of them are so thoughtful, kind and polite and no1 has ever failed school. Just wish 2 of them weren’t so quiet cuz I worry about them
What can I say? Nothing I have ever done has been enough for her. I can’t live up to her expectations (and yes, she is married). Between my mother and my sister, they’ve given me all the reasons in the world for my 4 attempts. Today someone else has given me another reason, as I realise I have absolutely no one in the world to turn to anymore. Everyone just wants something from me, and I have nothing left to give.