How to deal with it?

I’m 18 and finishing school, and I thought I had ‘recovered’ at around 16, then after 6 months of no cutting, I relapsed, and it was awful. And still I relapse. Because you never recover, it’s never easy, it’s a constant battle, but the thing is, if it was easy, you wouldn’t have won the battle, and your life would eternally be meaningless because you had never achieved anything. But it does get better. Just struggle on, love, you can do it. One day, in the future, it will be better. I promise.