I.. I did something so bad… I told the whole truth last night, I told him I did it for his attention just so that he will be more attentive of me. But it all went wrong… I didn’t expect this. No…. We’re still together now.. But it’s my turn to take the wheel. It is my turn to be the one who takes the lead. He’s not going to treat me like what he did before. He’s not going to love me as much. He’s not going to put all his effort into this r/s anymore. He’s not going to trust me anymore and […]
Dreamerxo
I’m kinda sick and tired of the endless arguments we have. I feel that it has all drain my energy. Like I can’t respond anymore, I’m too tired to even think, to fight back to say what I want to say. I don’t want to leave you neither do I want you to leave me. Because you’re so important to me, I can’t find any guy like you. I will never be able to find a replacement. You’re perfect. You may have hurt me and so did I. But you’re the perfect one. There’s arguments and fights but why can’t we get over it? Can’t […]
So much things on my mind. But can’t seem to find words to express myself. All I have is endless tears and suicidal thoughts.
I need pills. I need to smoke. I need to cut.
Where can I get pills? Where can I find cigarettes when I’m not the age to buy it.
I fought with my boyfriend… He’s the one who starts the problem. It’s always him. But I made it by continuing.. I’m upset.. So is he. I’m trying to chill and I am. But now he doesn’t seems all right.. Should I talk to him? Should I?… If I should.. What should I say? A apology? That wouldn’t be enough would it?… Please help me.. Please.. Should I talk to him. If yes, tell me what to say to him.. I feel so worthless. So useless. He ask me to go, go and find some other guy. I don’t wish to. I don’t want to. […]
What do you do when you have no friends?… What do you do when you just have no one around.. By your side?.. What do you do when all you can do is keep everything to yourself and when the feelings are being collected , hatred starts to grow. You hate yourself. You hate everyone around you. Â And you just feel like dying….. What do you do.. When you have a boyfriend whom you thought you could share your problems with. Who thought he wouldn’t leave you hanging. Who thought he would always be by your side… Who.. I thought… My boyfriend is all I […]
I really really want to fucking suicide. Okay, maybe not. Cause I’m scared of death. But I can’t take it any longer. I want to cut, I want to die. To people who cuts themselves, you do know what it’s like right?… How great the feeling is. I really don’t know what to do… All the night fights I have with my boyfriend is driving me insane. I just feel that my soul is trapped. And that I yearn for a razor to cut my skin. The scars actually seemed beautiful on my hand. HAHA. But people looked. They stare. They Judge. I want to […]
I’ve grown up with fairy tales and Disney shows. Did I watched the wrong shows all along? Â They all had a Happily Ever After. What about reality ? Oh wait. Ops. I mentioned – REALITY.
REALITY IS JUST SO FUCKEDUP. THERE’S LIKE NO SUCH THING IN FOREVER. NO SUCH THING AS BEING HAPPY FOREVER. OMG. THE SOCIETY IS SHIT. LOVE FAILS ALL THE TIME. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS JUDGING. + NOT FORGETTING YOU HAVE THAT INSECURITIES IN YOU. WHY IS EVERYONE SO JUDGMENTAL? WHY DOESN’T PEOPLE TREAT LOVE AS A SERIOUS THING? WHY?
I feel like slitting again. I feel like dragging the razor across my skin. I just sliced one across and I am so so so tempted to make more scar. I really don’t know what I can do. Please, can someone tell me if there’s another way I can just relive myself other than cutting. Cutting solves all my problems temporary because it stops the moment there. But I don’t wish to continue to scar my skin as I just recovered from cuts on my whole hands. I don’t want the stares. Please Please is there another method that I could do to bare all […]
How do someone recover so fast?.. Like.. Recover from all the pain. How to stop? How to stop all the voices in your head? How to stop myself from thinking that suicide is the only way?… I’m only 15 but .. Suicide is all I can think about. If I find life difficult to handle now.. What about the future when there’s more obstacles coming my way?
I slit. First time, I’m sure it was for attention. Just to get someone’s attention, I attempt suicide. Funny uh?… I first started cutting myself was about 3 years ago. But ever since that first blade that I draw across my skin… It gives me a feeling of satisfaction . Up till today, I still cut myself but then… I don’t know if it was to get the person attention again or is it because of all the pain that I can’t handle.
It was.. An addiction to slit. Like, each time you had some problem and you began to solve the problem by cutting […]