I’m proud of who I am

At long last, I’ve found myself……As a kid I’ve always enjoyed my time of solitude. I didn’t need anyone’s company to keep me happy. And I was always this way….until sometime around the age of 1o and 11 I lost myself. I started to let people mess with me. I let them get in my head. I started to let people tell me I was no good. And I believed it. They would tell me that I was weird because I didn’t talk a lot like them. They would tell me that I was weak because I didn’t have any friends. They would tell me that I was weird because I didn’t go to parties like them(I still don’t) They thought I was weak because I was lonely all the time but they didn’t know that I welcomed it. But one day I woke up to a new world. I wasn’t me anymore, I looked in the mirror that morning feeling disgusted of myself for being different. And so this continued for many more. I started waking up to the same day everyday for 6 years. During these 6 years, I endured a lot of pain within myself. For 6 years I thought it was wrong to be alone. For 6 years I thought it was wrong to be a little more different from them than they are from each other. For 6 years I’ve wanted to die so soon…. too soon. For 3 of those years I was bullied physically and I was bullied verbally for all 6. And through all those years of bullying I’ve never really hated any of those bullies for any more than a month or less because that’s just not me. God blessed me with the gift of being able to forgive easily. That being said, I know what’s forgivable and what’s not through my judgment. But I knew these bullies had problems of their own. And I knew that they were and are all pure hearted. Some of them could never really know what I felt like because some of them never went through what I did so I didn’t really hate them. I just hated the situation. Finally just this year I made my first friend in high school. And what seemed to be the impossible became the possible this year. Within a month after making this friend I realized I was lost for 6 years. I realized I was wrong about myself. I remembered who I was. I didn’t want any friends. I realized that I’ve been trying to fit in with a crowd that I did not belong to because I didn’t belong in any crowd. I was perfectly happy being me. Being a lonewolf. But over the years I’ve been traveling a very long uneasy path. Full of lots of pain, both internally and externally. I took the road less taken. And because I took the harder path, and because I didn’t give up, I’ve become a stronger person. I finally found happiness at the end. I found happiness within myself. One day I finally woke up to a new day. One day I found a true smile on my face when I looked up at myself through that same mirror that haunted me for years. I learned that happiness is something you have to pursue. I learned that hope is the only way to overcome any challenge in your life. I’m proud of being a lonewolf. This is me.