I thought I was getting better. Â But I’m not. Â I sit in my room and contemplate life, mostly the ending. Â I know that I can’t just end it, but at the same time, I want to. Â It’s like the first time you cut. Â You just kind of want to know what it feels like. Â You don’t want to do it, but you want to see if it will help ease the ache, get rid of the pain. Â I want to know if death will do that. Â But at the same time I’m too scared to try.
Is that normal? Â Well obviously not if I’m on this site, but is it normal to be scared of something you want??
3 comments
Its normal. Im the same way. About death at least. When ur mind wanders to that, turn on tv, listen to music, do chores, anything that keeps u occupied
It is absolutely normal, especially here, because there is a attraction to death. The fact that it is common does not mean it is healthy. It is not healthy. Yet, it is because of this attraction that salvation is needed and also hoped for, even if only unconsciously.
There is a purpose in being alive. You have a function here. It is found through love.
Paul said, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
There is wisdom here. Not cutting, love. Not killing, love. Not death, love.
G.W.
And if love doesn’t want a piece of you?