Feel like im finaly loosing my mind for good.  Idk if I am coming or going anymore.  Starting to feel so devastated an in so much mental anquish.  Everything that you have done to me is replaying over and over n my mind like a video on repeat.  That night I was drinking is weighing heavily on me lately  the night u smacked me in the face and I got angry and left with someone who had sex with me while I was passed out.  When you found out you wanted to beat the shit out of me and told me it was my fault and I agreed it was because I should never have started drinkinig but why did you nvr mention the fact you had something to do with it for hiting me and my leaving over it. why are you always making me feel im the guilty one here all the time foreverything. EVERYTHING IS REPLAYING OVER AND OVER!! I can not get a minutes peace.  I feel like I need to cry very much but I just cant. now I don’t know if I can trust anything I think or feel anymore.  Am I really the one to blame here because im nuts?  Honestly I dotn even know if I love you anymore half the time I think I don’t. Now I don’t even trust myself on that.  I guess I must still care something about u or I would walk away.  I am really going crazy