A Few More Breaths…

You told me to calm down. I was calm. All I told you was I was trying to get a second job to pay for the damage I caused. I know I’m going to school, too, but I have to do this. I’m not going to ask for handouts. I’m an able-body and I can work for my money. I’ll pay with my health if I have to. Or whatever health I have left. I feel like I’m getting a little sicker every day. When will I just fall apart into ash and dust? Why is the Universe testing me? I’m not as strong as it thinks I am. My boyfriend told me “The strongest steel is forged from the hottest fires.” This is true, but sometimes the metal does not make it.
I think I’ll cut again. After I check up on my applications.