I am ashamed of being my parents’ child.
They’ve given me a beautiful life.
Yet, I don’t appreciate it at all.
I can’t give them, the true gratitude that’s within my heart.
I don’t have enough potential even if I do strive to do my best.
But my best is not enough.
A pitiful child, I am.
My efforts are nothing.
Even if I were trade my life for death, I could not do so.
As for now, I just need to look for the reason to continue on.
17 comments
What makes you believe that you don’t deserve their support and love? Is there a difference between what they expect you to be and who you are? That is not un-worthy or failure. We are who we are, and we should live up to our own best potential.
things will go bad but trust me not all this will be bad you do deserve it even if u feel you dont xxxx email me if you ever need to talk
i have always found this a very paradoxical thing. ‘i can never repay the loan of my parents who gave me life’. this looks valid, and yet how bounding it is. technically i can go deeper or find some logic out, but i still feel that they have done so much for me and I am wrong if they are getting hurt because of me in any way.
parents should be liberal and let their child, once he has grown enough, be free, let him fail if he is failing, let him fall if he is falling. otherwise he is never gonna become an individual, and even if he does he will always feel a burden, a bondage of his parents over his life.
Concentrate on the true gratitude in your heart and accept that for yourself. Once you do, you will have no difficulty conveying this to your family.
At present, your lack of appreciation is actually more dear to you than anything else. It is a cherished image of yourself. You have chosen it, but you can choose another. The question is: do you want to choose another?
G.W.
“i have always found this a very paradoxical thing. ‘i can never repay the loan of my parents who gave me life’. this looks valid, and yet how bounding it is. ”
Yep. I disagree with defining “the gift of life” as “loan” or “borrow.”
To create a life means to bestow upon that being, the gift of their own life. It belongs to them, not the parents. It is a gift. It’s nice to attempt to give back, but people aren’t supposed to give gifts just for the sake of receiving a return. People aren’t supposed to pop out babies due to believing they will somehow turn a profit. There’s a very slim chance that any offspring will end up creating or attaining enough wealth to call it profitable. It seems a bit perverse to think of reproduction as a means to material gains. Plus, man, that’s a long time to have to wait to see a return on your investment, and a very high risk, with a high chance of low reward, or even ending up with debt.
yeah, i *should* be given as a gift. but i can understand their situation; they try to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes through their children. i won’t really blame them if they see their child as a profit. all i can do is hope that they set their child free, but its, i feel, still upto them. they are like God to their child, aren’t they? we always have copyright of things we create. i don’t know, i’m torn.
“…they try to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes through their children.”
And since their basis of reasoning is indefensibly flawed, they are wrong to feel they are “owed” anything, and even more wrong to demand returns.
If you don’t fully give the gift, then the gift cannot be fully received.
If your gift cannot be fully received by the recipient… did you really give the value you assign to it? Or is it sort of like “indian giving?” (giving what is called a “gift,” but then either reclaiming it, against the will of the receiver, or retaining some sort of claim to ownership, “holding it over their head,” despite using the contrary term of “gift.”)
If you don’t give the gift fully and freely, earnestly, then IMO, you can’t really call it a “gift.” If it doesn’t 100% belong to me, after i’ve received it, then you cannot legitimately claim that you have given me anything, if you do not allow me to fully possess it, and i will therefore dispute whatever value you claim i should appreciate, since you have not allowed the “gift” to actually be “mine.”
That’s how i feel about that.
Peoble have offspring for one of two fundamental reasons
1. Accidental – in a moment of selfish lust
2. As a selfish act to “enrich” one’s own life (the parent’s life)
there is no though as to a “gift” or what “type” or “kind” of specific child – most people decide (the ones that actually DO decide) to have a generic healthy child … PERIOD
No thought is given to specifics or personality … they only “hope” in the abstract, that the child will be reasonably happy and healthy.
Reality is cruel in that those “hopes” are simply unrealistic – but the point that is more important is that as offspring, we were either accidents, or the purposeful experiment/plaything to our “creators” (parents)
the only “payoff” generally expected was unconditional love … which is a fantasy concept
indian giver dawg
You know what I call this? “the parental paradox”….why? because if you are a failure or less than what they wanted you to be….they claim they had no role to play in it…that it was all on you and you blew it…..but…..let you become overly successful….they will take 99.9% of the credit and claim it was their “superb” parenting ability that allowed you to be where you are and that without it you would have never reached it…..
and you know what I say to this?
BULLSHIT!!!
If your best isn’t enough for them?…..Fuck….Them…..period….you are literally exerting the maximum amount of potential you have….it would be stupid for them to find that “not good enough”….its like having a Honda and then getting pissed at that Honda that it isn’t performing like a Ferrari….
“Yet, I don’t appreciate it at all.
I can’t give them, the true gratitude that’s within my heart.” In this statement your appreciation is inherent and apparent because gratitude is just that; appreciation.
“… they only “hope†in the abstract, that the child will be reasonably happy and healthy.
Reality is cruel in that those “hopes†are simply unrealistic…”
To initiate a life without adequate thought or preparation, is what is cruel, and, to form fantastical expectations of returns or results, based entirely on the lack of thought, despite the obviously problematic and hindering lack of adequate preparation… does not entitle any parent to “expect more of” their offspring.
Reality is not what is cruel in unrealistic hopes; people do unrealistic hopes to themselves; reality is not the legitimate cause of such things. Fantastically willful ignorance would be more appropriately blamed. People are just idiots who hope for things they are not actively working toward manifesting, or things that are actually predictably impossible, with just a bit of critical thinking.
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other; watch which fills up first.”
this is the very dilemma i’m practically facing. i’m seriously considering running away, but i cannot do this without taking permission from my parents. i just…can’t. even if i did run away without approval of their words, this thing will always remain in my mind and bug me my whole life that i disobeyed and abandoned my parents without having right to do so. a simple, single Yes from them can change everything. and if i did ask, i know how much my mother is attached to me. she will never let me go. and i know my father has gone through many hard things; i cannot leave him in front of his eyes and watch his hopes shattering. remaining with them, i cannot pursue my goal. i’m stuck.
Read the Bible.
People are selfish, parents have children just to procreate or fill some empty space on their lifes… i sure wouldn’t wish to bring a child into this world as it is, even if i feel the need to.
They choose to have a child, including all responsabilities that come with it… you’re obviously greatful at that, but if somebody gives you an unexpected gift (even if it’s a shitty or great one, regarding life), you shouldn’t be hardpressed to give the full extent of what you received… or even anything at all.
If you want to do your best that is great, but very rarely one can meet someone else’s expectations… why? because everyone see things different and needs different things… i punished myself for years mentally for not being the son i was supposed to be until i realized that maybe i shouldn’t have to (funnily enough, now i punish myself mentally for not being fit to society or relationship material… but that’s a different story haha)
I love my mother, but she is a difficult woman to put it midly. One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is when Alexander the Great says of his mother “That is a high ransom she charges for 9 months in the womb.” I take this to heart. We cannot be eternally in debt to our parents simply because they are our parents.
“Read the Bible.”
Exodus 21:17 – Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Leviticus 20:9 – For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 – If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
“Read the Bible.”
Yeah – great idea … squeeze em out willy nilly and kill the non-subservient ones … cuz the bible is all brilliant like that.
slayer dawg
LOL
LOL X 2