dream

All right, sweetheart. We understand. We, I, understand the sense of futility and black despair, and hopelessness. I also know that there is a way out. Is it easy? Yes, once you are willing to accept it? Does it require courage? Yes, because, until you make the decision, you will be unsure of whether it will work and you are afraid that you will play the sucker, again, by daring to belief that hope is possible.

But hope is possible. And while you are afraid of it, it still remains a threatening presence within your mind. You ask for death, but actually resist hope, except the hope that death will be swift, painless, and will end the suffering. Yes, we all understand that.

Here is the deal: the flashbacks are painful memories that you replay, because you have fixated your mind on them as being “real.” You replay them over and over and they seem to arise by themselves at times, to deliver this message: this thing has happened to you and you life is forever changed for the worse because of it.

You can stop this, but to do so, you must undergo what is called discipline, or mind training, to do so. It does require effort and you will only be willing to give that effort, if you make a decision, however insincere, that you want to take a chance and give it a try. You may not be willing at this time. When you are willing, the choice will still be there to make. But there is advantage in making the decision now, if you can. Why? Because any time you do make the decision, it will always be “now” anyway, and by making it now, you will save yourself eons of suffering.

So, sweethear, are you feeling lucky?

G.W.