I can’t take my life anymore

My name is Jordan and I am 18, I have had really bad depression for sometime now and it has only gotten worse. I cannot be happy or smile about anything now. Games and music are all that seems to take my problems away but the depression gets worse. All I want to do it die and end my horrible life. The main reason I have depression is because whenever something good happens to me it doesn’t last long and it leave me devastated. i can’t get a job or a girlfriend and all I seem to do it piss people off, No one is ever here to help me they just leave me to it then call me selfish for only thinking about myself. If they knew how I felt then they would understand but no one I know understands what I feel inside, I am just ready to give up with everything. I have no one to support me anymore. My heart has been shattered to many times its beyond repair. I do have suicidal thoughts and I have attempted to end my life multiple times but back then I wasn’t so sure about if I wanted to end it or not, now I know what I want to do. My parents and front don’t care at all no one cares I am all alone in this world and I have nothing to live for. I just want my life to be over and done with