Okay, I want the guys on this site to give me some advice.
So, I haven’t talked to this guy in almost a year, I don’t know why we stopped talking, we just did. We were great friends, we both liked each other but we just didn’t do anything about it, he was amazing and sweet and funny and he literally cared about me, at least I think he did. I cared about him too, I still do. Things have happened in my life recently that made me think about him, and made me miss him. I want to talk to him again. I want to send him a facebook message to talk to him but I don’t know how he’ll react, mostly because we haven’t talked in less than a year.
I want to send him this but is this too much?
“Hey, I know we haven’t talked in less than a year, and it’s my fault I know because I’m a horrible human being, I hate how I treated you in the end, because you didn’t deserve that at all. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time, but I just didn’t know what you’d think or say, because when we stopped talking we weren’t really in the best terms, you know? but I just wanted to say I miss you, I miss talking to you, you are one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. I don’t expect you to talk to me again, I don’t deserve to expect anything. I just wanted to get this off my chest. so I miss you. I’m sorry for everything I did to you.”
But here’s the advice part I need from you guys.
How would you react to this? I’m not even sure how I would react to this, the last thing I want to do to him is make it difficult, but I don’t want to be a dick and just say “hey what’s up” because that’s not enough. I feel like I have to explain myself to him, because I care about how he feels. I’m just not sure what I should say. I’m so confused. but I want to talk to him again. but I’m not sure if he wants to talk to me, that’s the problem. Help me please.
37 comments
You don’t even need to do that. Just send a brief message enquiring how he is. If he replies (which he will) you’ll know he’s interested. If not, ’twas never meant to be. Drink pomegranate juice. Did you know it contains all sorts of antioxidants.
Yeah exactly, what Pegasus said. No need to make it complicated. Something like, “We haven’t spoken for a while, I was just wondering how you are. What’s new in your world?”
knowing guys, he likely has a new lady by now, and has likely forgotten about you.
but, try it with a short message.
If he doesnt answer, move on.
You might want to move on anyway.
@ Persephone stop creeping me out. I changed my identity so you wouldn’t know who I was. It seems I’ve got to create a new account to post here. A new personality just isn’t enough these days.
I’m not your stalker, geesh, get over yourself. You didn’t change it for me, I know that. LIES.
I’m just some loser on a suicide forum, no need to take any notice of me.
If I were you, I wouldn’t start the conversation with a paragraph as big and as deep as that. It might “overwhelm” him or freak him out.
Ask how he is or something.
I think you should go to crisis chat (not imsodone). Persephone, why would you not want to go there. It’s a really cool place. The people are really cool.
Did you know that there are over 2 million prisoners in the United States of America? 2.2 million people, doing nothing but sitting behind bars wasting taxpayer’s money. If I were running the country I wouldn’t stand for that kind of nonsense. I would follow a system similar to that of the Bastøy Prison in Norway. Convicts would work so that they are helping the economy and also being taught a lesson. Not even prison should be a free ride.
Really. What if the prisoners refuse to work. What would you do then?
Then they’ll be put into solitary confinement. If it were me, I’d rather do some work so I could have more freedom. (On that island for criminals in Norway they even have horse-riding.)
That’s a prison? They have food cooked by chefs, horseback riding, a sauna, fishing, tennis, and cross-country skiing and live in cottages and work the prison farm….the real question is….why haven’t I gone to Norway and went to prison….if you are homeless in Norway you need to commit a crime and get sent there ASAP….talk about a waste of money….
I wouldn’t make it nearly that easy for them. But, the Scandinavians do have a high success rate, with few re-offenders. That would be my goal.
I read recently about someone who had been released after serving 20-something years of a life sentence after DNA evidence confirmed someone else was responsible. Although its rare, a simple google search will show that there are miscarriages of justice. But those few don’t matter in the same way that the (genuinely fucked) people on here don’t matter because it’s their life not ours. Society is meant to be more important than the individual … I mean better than the individual.
What is ‘society’? It all depends on the various microcosms wherever one is placed. If the government and law of a certain country is ‘society,’ then. If ‘society’ is the wealthy denizens of an particular residence, you’re in a whole other ballgame. Sometimes the wealthy can get out of sentencing just because of their power and influence, or they’re demoted to house arrest instead. Is that fair? Maybe, maybe not. If a wealthy person was involved in a hit and run under the influence and accidentally committed the crime of manslaughter, I would be prepared to accept that it was a one-time event, if they had nothing else like it on their record. In this case, a fine and house arrest would probably suffice. On the other hand, if they had been arrested for drunk driving in the past… I would require them to both pay fines and be sent to a rehabilitation centre. I think it’s only fair.
It is never fair for someones money and influence to allow them to escape the law…otherwise justice isn’t blind….but justice isn’t blind anyways it sees who it wants to see
I don’t know. If their money is used for the good of the country (and doesn’t just go into the pockets of those in the legal system), I think that it would be a reasonable verdict.
@OP Sorry for going off topic here. I hope our advice earlier has helped you.
I screw that brings drugs and mobile phones into prison for the inmates could meet you in the pub. The same way a corrupt police officer that sets people up could meet you at the bar and maybe buy you a drink. You’ll be non the wiser. But, I suspect after time if you learned the truth of what they were it wouldn’t bother you. You’d actually even cover for them if necessary. So all this finish you spout on here, is rubbish. Don’t take the moral high ground. If it ever came down to it and I couldn’t outrun them there would be a gun battle there and then and I’d make their wife a widow with no remorse because that’s the life they chose.
I couldn’t entirely understand that, I think you made some typos. But I agree, if I were a police officer and I were affronted, I would have no qualms about defending myself. Really, I think that some people will never change, and if they’ve offended severely enough, by repeatedly harming others with full knowledge of what they were doing… Well, for their punishment I’d probably take after certain states in the U.S. in that case. (Heh.)
You police ARE the real criminals. That’s why I’m going to blast one of them and don’t care who knows it. Come and arrest me if they’re bad.
I think it all depends on the individual. Many police will use unnecessary brute force, or will incarcerate innocent people, which is wrong. I have no particular empathy for police; they can have a dangerous job, which I respect, but often they’ll take it too far. It is unfortunate that most police officers are not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Imagine this, if you only see the lives they destroy when there’s a whistleblower, what do you thinks really going on all over the place. But, we are all trying to save our own skin, trying to look out for ourselves. That’s what justice is, right and wrong. Unless you can stand up for the truth then don’t cry like a little baby on a suicide site about the world being a cesspool. If I got one of them then the papers would brand me a psycho killer but that’s not even true that’s not who I am. Yet, they could kill anyone in their sleep and it’s ok.
I don’t think you mean me when you say crying about the world being a cesspool, because I haven’t done that, but anyway, I wouldn’t call it that myself. What is wrong with the world is the wealthy having their way in the government and inadequate funding for the impoverished. There are also many unfair, ridiculous laws out there (i.e., regarding the sale and consumption of stimulant/intoxicant substances). If it’s recreational and isn’t hurting anyone, I don’t see what’s wrong with it.
How can someone even like police…they’re obnoxious, self absorbed, usually fat and undisciplined, shallow, and always tend to end up aiding the wrong side, except for in obvious cases.
A few years ago, the cops stuck me in a mental hospital for a week because I tried to resist arrest. They thought I had stole some old lady’s purse, but it was my backpack. I managed to knock down one of them, but the second one smacked me with his baton. And after they found out that I was just carrying my own backpack, they told me I was crazy for resisting arrest, and that I was mentally unstable.
This whole time, the actual criminal, whoever he was, had made his escape. But kudos to the cops. They had caught me (a random guy walking on the street) hit me with a baton and told me I was insane when it turned out they were wrong.
Cops are no good at all. The only true justice is in the ring.
@OP:
If you know you hurt this guy’s feelings through your own wrongdoing, you shouldn’t expect anything, especially not a welcome mat and celebrations. (not that you “don’t deserve,” but that it’s simply unreasonable to expect someone you’ve hurt, to want to be nice to you; especially if contact was ended on bad terms; it’s like leaving a wound to fester, rather than avoiding causing a wound, or trying to fix what you did, right away, as soon as you did it)
If you honestly care about him, and really want to know how he’s doing, and are willing to risk receiving an unfriendly reply, or perhaps even none at all… then that huge explanation isn’t necessary.
If you care, and he cares, then to “test the waters,” this is all it takes:
“Hi. How are you?”
This does three things:
1. Opens the channel for communication
2. Directly asks one simple question, easily clarifying your intention (you want to know how he’s doing; that’s all)
3. Skips all the extra stuff.
The rest can come later, should you receive a positive or welcoming response.
If you receive a negative response, or none at all, then all that otherness is unnecessary, and you’ve spared both of you some unnecessary hurt, and avoided drudging up “old shit.”
There is only one person who could ever be in such a position to send me such a “ping,” and i would be both semi-surprised, as well as unsure of how to respond, in the event i received such a message.
In this situation, you really have no other choice than to take a shot in the dark, roll the dice, and hope for the best. But in this type of situation, you need to brace yourself and be prepared to not receive the type of response you were hoping for. That’s part of the cost of cutting someone you care about, out of your life. Sometimes they don’t want back in.
Anyone can be the victim of a crime and then say there should be more protection, harsher punishments etc. I know what’s going on. This in the media what they are doing to innocent civilians is just the tip of the iceberg. I know what they are doing but it’s not public knowledge because if it got out, they would be able to pay all that compensation and they’d all lose their jobs. If I’m the victim of a crime at least I saw my enemy with my own eyes and at least they gave me a chance. With these people you’ve got no chance. But the average person doesn’t have to worry about that because they go about their lives. I have to worry about it.
I had a experience last month that made me realize I have to worry about it too…
@Diem That was my point, some (or many) of the police are morons who were probably bullies back in high school.
No offense to anyone on this site who might be a police officer. 😉
If someone wanted to know everything about you, even your shoe size they could get that information from the police for a favour or a price. That’s how it works. There is no aspect of your life they can’t uncover. That’s why I’m going off the grid and I’ve got some serious firepower if any tries anything.
Ugh, exactly, I know it. I was off the record for years and now I’m on it because of several instances of stupidity on my part. In two freakin’ countries. If they don’t accept me in the neighbouring country I’ll have no choice but to try my luck overseas.
Imagine if they found out that I was on a suicide site. That would be the icing on the cake.
I don’t think you understand. If someone is a little informer, has friends with the police or swilling to pay, they can hack your phone, bug your car, home etc. Get your financial information, access your emails. It’s going on everywhere all the time. No one is going to be interested in you but thee are certain people who attract that kind of attention. I’d say, it’s happened to most celebrities at some point in their lives but the’H don’t know or can’t prove it.
most people are almost entirely oblivious to the types and amount of information that exists about them in some nondescript database somewhere, and how susceptible all that information is, to being abused by various means.
privacy is virtually extinct. Anyone who uses the internet can be found; it’s just a matter of knowing what to look for, and where to look.
Yeah, I know they can do that. My government has been faulted for such behaviour time and time again. I can’t use a proxy now but I will whenever I move elsewhere, I know that they could easily track my I.P. address (which would worry me now if I thought I had cause to worry). I don’t have anything to hide really, the only problem is whatever is on my record and being on this website.
It’s not that they can but they are. They are doing it without a court order to ordinary law abiding civilians. That’s why I’ve got these weapons. To defend myself if they get in the way of my plan.
There was the whole thing with the ASN last year (read that backwards). You can run but you can’t hide.
There is just one thing in life ive got to do. I’ve been planning it for years and it’s always on my mind. After this job is don’t I don’t care what happens to me. I’ll die happy.
Uh, okay… I won’t ask. Maybe you should try to have a good life first. Settle down somewhere. Then once you’re old and crotchety, say, late 70’s, 80’s, you can do whatever it is you want to do, if you still feel like it. (Note: I am not condoning these actions in any way because I don’t know what they are.)
Okay thank you for the advice, I’ll try talking to him one day, and I won’t lay it on so heavy, the last thing I want to do is overwhelm him, so thanks.