Some people mourn by sobbing for hours. That’s okay.
Some people mourn by sitting silently. That’s okay too.
Some people mourn by reflecting on the soul that is now departed.
Or thinking about all the happy memories.
Those are completely okay.
I mourn by not really mourning at all. I have to keep moving, I have to keep my life relatively normal. I distract myself by going to movies and out to lunch with friends. I go shopping, I post happy tweets, I carry on like nothing even happened. On the outside, I suppose it seems I’m not even sad, but that’s not true at all. My heart is broken. My stomach is in knots. My mind won’t let me believe the truth. To you, I appear unscathed, but appearance never does my mind justice. I don’t think I should feel guilty about going out with friends tonight, or about going shopping yesterday. I don’t want to talk about my grandpa. I don’t want to think about the years of my life he will miss. I don’t want to attend the funeral and have to sit in a cold room with his lifeless body for 8 hours surrounded by crying, helpless friends and family. Not everyone likes sobbing or sitting silently, and I think that should be okay, too.
1 comment
Im very sorry to hear this, really.
I know how it is. My dad died in 2005, he had alzheimers. Mom, my wife, my boss, and I were the only ones there. We didn’t ask family to come from New York, many wouldnt have cared anyway. I wouldnt go in to see him in the casket. I told them I couldnt handle it, so I never did. My mom did, so did Fernands (wife).
I never recovered from it, and with my mom being sick, getting worse now because of what my wife did, Im afraid she will be going soon too. At that point, I’ll see where my life stands and will decided where I need to be.
If I can say anything to help you feel better, try and stay busy, maybe get with/make friends. It helped me some, it can you as well.
Pray too, but don’t feel sad for him. They are in a better place than we are, and to an extent, I envy them.