so young, so much pain

My parents, the people who gave me life,  lives with me everyday, hates me… i think that says alot about a person? if the people whom you live with…  doesnt like you? i cant stand to see another disappointment on their face, to see my mother cry because of me. My dad trying so hard to not show the hurt and disgust, but i see it. i see everything. hear everything. how “not good enough i am.”  but i swear… i try! i dont like the person i am. how can i? no one does. im always second best -friends -family- relationships. never being good enough hurts. especially if you try so hard to be… my past is a nightmare. my future is bleak. my present is torture. i cant see how it can get beter. i have no control anymore. everything just get worse everyday and no one can see how unhappy i am.  feels like im the only one in the world… no one understands me. no one cares…. who will really miss me when im gone? cause honestly i cant think of one person… how pathetic i am!