mom
Im sorry im sad
Im sorry for crying
Im sorrry that im covered in scars
Im sorry i want to die
I know this isnt what you expected
when you held tiny little me in your arms
so long ago
im sorry…
Maypi
but who could love a girl that cuts herself…
i need pills…NOW!
My own mother. She hates me. Shes in a mood again to today. Havent looked at me once today, neither did say just say hello or how did you sleep… nothing! why? because she doesnt care. i bet shes wont even ask whats wrong if she sees me cry… she will probably think im seeking attention. im a failure for a daughter. but maybe she will care when im gone….
Use to be so full of life, i was a dancer and a model. I was good in academics at school. Had the perfect life…. then everything just fell apart. We have just enough money for the basics. My parents are fighting everyday. is it wrong of me wishing they would just get a divorce already? My sister is smart- like really smart. And shes just the perfect daughter. My parents probably wish i was like her. no trouble, no worries, no party, no boys, no disappointment. ahhh how i wish i was maybe like her! and im so so so so mad at my […]
It’s caving in around me, what I thought was solid ground
I tried to look the other way, but I couldn’t turn around
It’s ok for you to hate me, for all the things I’ve done
I’ve made a few mistakes, but I’m not the only one
Step away from the ledge, I’m coming down
I could never be, what you want me to
You pulled me under, to save yourself (save yourself)
You will never see, what’s inside of me
I pull you under, just to save myself
Was there ever any question, on how much I could take
You kept feeding me your bullshit, hoping […]
i have “server depression” but im not going to allow myself to be drugged by pills. and even if i change my mind i can’t. My parents wont help or believe me… they will say im stupid and just seeking attention… maybe they will believe me when they are standing over my grave.
nothing excites me anymore… nothing makes me happy anymore. like i lost all feelings… i feel nothing anymore… im like a zombie.. going through everyday lifeless… i dont have anymore tears left. no more words to pray… i have NOTHING left to give.
i cant help myself from thinking about IT… how many people will cry…how many people truly cared… who will think twice what they said to me, and regret it… who will miss me… how did i get to this point? feeling so alone… dont know how much longer i can take it… 🙁 🙁 🙁
My parents, the people who gave me life, lives with me everyday, hates me… i think that says alot about a person? if the people whom you live with… doesnt like you? i cant stand to see another disappointment on their face, to see my mother cry because of me. My dad trying so hard to not show the hurt and disgust, but i see it. i see everything. hear everything. how “not good enough i am.” but i swear… i try! i dont like the person i am. how can i? no one does. im always second best -friends -family- relationships. never being good […]