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Waiting on the world to change

by virtus

I’m tired.

tired of existing. I feel like I am a zombie. Like my life has no purpose.

is there a god? I don’t know. Actually, I do. I believe there is a god, but I don’t know who he/she is.

I’m tired.

tired of not being good enough. Of trying my hardest to achieve and failing again and again.

im tired.

Tired of watching the same thing happen around me over and over again without being able to do anything about it.

I feel like I’m screaming and no one can hear me.

like I’m behind a pane of glass, and while I can see everyone, they can only see the outside of me.

they can’t hear me. They can’t know me. They can’t understand me.

im tired.

im so tired. I’m done trying to make up reasons to survive. I’ve heard Christians say that people try to fill the emptiness they feel with things of the world will not be successful, because only Jesus can do that.

well I tried the Jesus route and I feel more empty than ever.

a part of me is fighting the emptiness, the loneliness that I feel inside,

while another part of me wants to give in to it.

maybe it would be easiest.

im tired of being disappointed.

in myself, in god, in my family, my friends, in everything.

im tired of feeling.

im just tired.

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2 comments

i.Am.DeAd 11/4/2013 - 8:12 pm

couldnt have worded that better this is practically my life story in a nutshell

NothingRemains 11/4/2013 - 9:14 pm

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Past two weeks have been especially exhausting. Lack of sleep, attempts to VSED. I just want to lay down and never rise again.

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