I was really upset last night. I cut and my girlfriend doesn’t know. We told each other that we’d stop together (or try) and she hasn’t cut. I don’t want to disappoint her but I don’t want to give her any reason to not trust me either. I hate this :’c I just want to make her proud of me and proud that she’s with me. My friend Alex threw out all my blades a week ago but I got more from my uncles tool box in the garage. Alex doesn’t know that :c
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Did you clean the blade?
I always do.
I never found blade confiscation to be all that effective. Not when the hardware store sells box cutters for $1. And if I’m really desperate, I’ve got 5 blades at the end of my hands; they’ll get through flesh eventually.
I also think it would be wise to be honest. Disappointment is better than distrust. Cuz with distrust there is also disappointment about not being able to trust. It’s just a downhill slide.
I tell my woman when I’ve been under the knife.
Don’t make promises if you’re not sure you can keep them.
Also if you only promised to try then that alone doesn’t mean you guaranteed to never slip, never do it again. Try is try, not succeed. The difference is that try keeps going until you do succeed.
I also agree with the honesty and trust things. If you can’t be honest and trust each other… then what do you really have? If the truth is unacceptable to the other person, then it’s best to let them decide what to do about it, instead of deceiving them into investing themselves into a false construct that will inevitably collapse. Also, you probably don’t want someone who cannot accept that humans who try, still sometimes fail and make mistakes. If the other cannot handle your mistake, then… they won’t. No use holding on to something like that.
That said… being honest might not be what’s best for a relationship; this is especially true when said relationship is not what’s best for you. You shouldn’t have to fear honesty or beg for trust. If you do… you should probably try to find someone else.