I’m not always like this. It’s like lately there’s a leech demon always at my side. Destroying every small moment of happiness I can muster. I wake up with scratches on my body. There is no way this could happen. I have no fingernails. I chew the shit out of them. I’m wondering if some of those crazy people I thought were delusional religious fanatics might be right about a few things. I really don’t know why I post here. It’s not gonna help me. I do have a lot in common with many of you. I am very smart but my words and thoughts become muddled when I think about all the bad things that have happened. My family wants me to talk about it. What the fuck would they know about pain. Everyone thinks they know pain. They all think somehow their experience is somehow special. I have so many issues. Many I can’t begin to talk about and especially not to a fucking poser. Don’t pretend to understand me. It’s not gonna happen. I’m fucked. I’m in my own special little hell. Someday I will have my revenge on the thing that did this to me. Satan wants me to believe he isn’t real. I got a joke for him. I’m gonna rip him a new asshole. I feel like I am being groomed for this. This life is no longer mine. Pain will be with me until I pass from here. God wants me to get intimate with pain. He spoke to me once a long time ago. Now there is only silence. I know there is something more. That’s why I am always sad lately. I’m out on a ledge. I want to die but I can’t commit suicide. He doesn’t speak to me anymore but I know he’s there. I don’t like talking religion with people because they always say the same bullshit. People can’t begin to understand anything god does. I say I am atheist. They need to stop forcing their ideals on people. God gave us freedom. We are not all the same. I am not like you. As fucked up as I am I don’t wanna be you. My pain makes me strong. Yes I wanna die. Yes life is a *****. Fuck the world  and FUCK YOU.
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5 comments
Yep….actually I kinda do understand you. Fuck the world. Only those who could every possibly understand, feel your pain. I cannot stop this anguish. I am so over it.
i know what your saying
Love this.
Are you sure you didn’t just fall or something? Like lets put this into context….a demon…whose mission is to destroy every human and fuck them over….make them go insane…..and ruin them….the best he could do was leave a few scratches on you?….like think about that demon reporting back to satan…..”yeah I showed him I scratched him a few times!” …..Like I if I were satan I’d kick him out of hell….your demon makes demons look like pussies….seriously dude….if it were a demon don’t you think it would do more to you than a few scratches?
I don’t claim to know everything…in fact I know very little ….very little about nothing actually….but it intrigues me when people say god “spoke” to them….was it in an audible voice?….or one in your head? I’m not trying to ridicule you or anything but I just want you to put things in context….I’m agnostic by the way so I am skeptical of both sides of the fence….
oh and Fuck you too….lol j/k
The world is full of evil and many evil people. If you don’t see that you are blind. As for the god thing. That’s between me and him but no he did not speak to me in some thundering audible voice. I don’t necessarily believe in the god that people talk about. It’s something else. Your hearts are in the right place. That’s what matters. I am not an expert. I’m not some fucking preacher. I am not trying to tell you what to believe. Follow your heart, even if you are an evil rotten bastard.