I’m not even depressed right now but I don’t know what happen and what I’m going to do with my life which makes me want to kill myself. My major in college turns out have nothing to do with my passion that I found out later but I can’t  just drop out or my family will be furious. I’m stuck with my life I hate. I want to chase my dreams even it means I need to start over and leave everything behind, have a minimum wage job (as long as I still can pay my bills, eat, having a roof above my head and internet connection), but in my freetime, I will do the thing I wanna do. But I don’t have any courage to do it. I was so scared, so afraid of everyone will reject me by being who I am.
I’m so confused. I don’t even have anyone who I can call a friend. Not even a family even though I can see them in the place I call home. I know this rant won’t fix a thing but I just want to vent out, and everytime, I want to be hug by someone and say that it’s okay let it go, start a new life and support me when no one did.
This is why I’m so confused, I don’t know what to do.
2 comments
Of course we’re all here for you, but our support is somewhat limited to what the internet allows. I really think you need someone who can really hug you and who is there for you in person. Don’t understand me wrong, what people do on this forum is great, but as I said can only be a part of your help.
Going through life together makes everything much easier – if you find someone who you can call a true friend.
Also there are many students who finish college or university but who are not quite happy with what they are doing. Many of them do another college degree for example (if they can afford it financially). People make mistakes, that’s just who we are. But you can’t let those wrong decisions ruin your whole life. Talking with friends before you take decisions for example helps you very much to come to a good conclusion.
Also no one will criticize you for releasing some stress and frustration by posting here, that’s basically what 90% of the posts are and that’s also whay this forum is for!
I was in the exact same situation you are, i studied something that i thought was going to make me happy (and by influence of my family as well). At the 2nd-3rd year i realized i didn’t enjoy it at all and had a wrong idea of what that career was really about, and i considered seriously dropping out and studying something else.
Well, i didn’t… and it has to be one of the biggest mistakes i’ve ever made, if you still have the chance to change careers and are still young, just go for it… you will have to live your life, not your family or friends, and eventually they will understand you’re taking a risk for yourself and support you… because career is a huge part on your life, that one mistake led to several others and well… let’s say that i wouldn’t be lurking a suicide site if i was happy with my life today, lol.
What ClaireDeLune says is perfectly valid too, if you can finish your career and think you could live out of it, you might study something else later (if you already have several years invested in your current career)… now, if you downright hate what you are studying (as i hate what i studied)… maybe it’s not such a good idea, hehe.