Just so sick and tired. Help me, please.

My mom doesn’t trust me, and I’m pretty sure she hates me too, I’ve told her lie upon lie. Why should she even trust me when I’m the way I am? My dad doesn’t know what’s going on, I hardly ever see him so I don’t think he’d understand me and I don’t think I’d understand him much either, but at least he’s a comfort because he does trust me and does love me. My step dad doesn’t speak to me much, once in a while giving me the “evil glare” after mom has told him something about me. My step mom is always supportive, fun and amazing to be around but I doubt she’d know what to do if I told her. My grandparents believe in me and got my back all the time, I love them lots. Sissi is dead. BamsePus is dead. Stefie is sick. It’s like my childhood friends are slowly dying or leaving me or just out right disappearing. My best friend in Dutch school turned the whole class on me and called me a “dierenbull” which means I being mean to animals, but I wasn’t, never was and never will be cruel or mean to animals. When I was doing homework on my little pink laptop in my room, mom thought I was playing games and didnt even bother checking if I did but just grabbed me and threw me onto my bed where I knocked my head against the wall so I fainted and when I woke up she was gone. The one person who supported me at the time broke my heart at a swimming competition so I was disqualified. At English school they’d whisper behind my back saying I was a nervous anti-social wreck, or that I was fat or that I was a skeleton. I joined the school swim team to prove myself but left because it got too tough. I am still in my own swim team but they don’t push me hard enough so I joined the school swim team again, they keep forgetting to put me on the team list. I went to the train station to go kill myself because everything was getting too much, I made the stupid mistake of calling my friend, who later on broke my trust, who showed up out of breath, cause he had run to me, made sure I got home and didnt go back to try again. I entrusted a few of my friends about me being suicidal, one of them broke that trust and told his parents, whom told the school, who told the nurse in the school. So I was dragged from class to the nurse to the cry room where I had to tell the nurse absolutely everything that was bothering me, I told her not to tell my mom. You know what she does? She tells my mom. All hell breaks loose when I get home, once I get in the door mom says “what the hell is going on?” I choose to say “nothing” because I know she wouldn’t listen or call me stupid or blame it on something other than herself so that she can put me into more trouble. She takes away my Internet privileges again because I have been chatting to the only person who could truly help me through this without telling anyone, my pen/mail friend, who is a little bit older than i am. Mom says that he is the source for all the problems at home, that he has brainwashed me, that he is giving me suicide ideas, that he was the bad one. I was almost persuaded by her speech. But now I am talking to him again like usual and I’m upset again. Everything is too much. I’m just so sick and tired of it all! Which includes school. Everything is so controlled. I have to take the iB examination so that I will be let into Norway for the schooling to be a vet there, but the schools iB choice is that I have to take English, Maths, a language, a science, a humanity and an art or another science. So what I choose is English, maths, Dutch, chemistry, psychology and biology. So because of the stupid system I cannot take art unless I want to give up my dream of becoming a Vet! So please, if you know a loop hole of any kind… Please tell me… So that my life may become a bit easier next year when I have to make my choices.