Someone shared this quote with me:
“You will find true happiness in life when you realize it only takes ‘you’ to be happy. Â True happiness lies within yourself, it doesn’t come from others.”
For me, I can’t be happy within myself. Â Maybe those of us who are suicidal and ready to end things feel the same way. Â I’ve had to rely on others for glimpses of feeling happy.
My last two friends keep telling me I need to learn to love myself. Â I hate when they say that you have to learn to love yourself before you can love others because I know how to give love…I just can’t learn to love myself and I’m not too great at appreciating the love that is given to me.
And I know right now I am only staying alive for other people. Â But just like I can’t rely on others for happiness and for love, I can’t continue to rely on others for life.
31 comments
Hey I get you. ive been there. but hey you know, God loves you. i know youve probably heard it from a bunch of people and you probably dont want to but im telling you He does. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever beliveth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. you know if this wasnt the truth i wouldnt be doing this right now. I care for you and others in general. And you know im told to tell others about God’s love and thats what i want to do. hey look at this, “Beloved let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE.” hey God is love. in Him you can find love. you know, we cant be happy truly without Him. So hey call out to God and ask Him to help you. just talk to Him, He’s not too high and mighty to hear you. He cares about you and wants to have a relationship with you. all y
Hey I get you. ive been there. but hey you know, God loves you. i know youve probably heard it from a bunch of people and you probably dont want to but im telling you He does. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever beliveth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. you know if this wasnt the truth i wouldnt be doing this right now. I care for you and others in general. And you know im told to tell others about God’s love and thats what i want to do. hey look at this, “Beloved let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE.” hey God is love. in Him you can find love. you know, we cant be happy truly without Him. So hey call out to God and ask Him to help you. just talk to Him, He’s not too high and mighty to hear you. He cares about you and wants to have a relationship with you. all y
Hey I get you. ive been there. but hey you know, God loves you. i know youve probably heard it from a bunch of people and you probably dont want to but im telling you He does. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever beliveth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. you know if this wasnt the truth i wouldnt be doing this right now. I care for you and others in general. And you know im told to tell others about God’s love and thats what i want to do. hey look at this, “Beloved let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE.” hey God is love. in Him you can find love. you know, we cant be happy truly without Him. So hey call out to God and ask Him to help you. just talk to Him, He’s not too high and mighty to hear you. He cares about you and wants to have a relationship with you. all you have to do is call out to Him. Romans 10:13 says “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” and also Romans 10:9 says “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” hey just call out to Him and ask Him to save you and to show you happiness. We can only find it in Him. Were sinners and the way to find happiness is asking God to forgive us of our sins and realize Jesus loved you so much that He came from Heaven to this world, and died for our sins and us so we can go to Heaven. Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” then just asking Him to save us and come into our hearts and take us to Heaven. its easy as that! why not ask Him to save you? happiness can be found in Him.
sorry hit the wrong buttons thats why theres 3 comments
How might loving oneself help? What is happiness, anyhow?
Why do people always say things like that? “If you do X, you’ll be happy.” Really? Why? What the hell is happiness, anyhow?
Temporary thrills, temporary peace and contentment? I guess for me it’s when I can say, “I had a good time, I had a good day,” or even, “I had a good year,” (not sure when I’ve ever said that). Happiness is not static, just like anything else. I remember asking a friend once, “Do you think you’ll ever achieve happiness?” They replied, “Maybe sometime in the future.” Wrong answer. If you want to have a good time, that can only be done in your present. You can plan for the future, but you can never know if your plans will come to fruition. Nonetheless, making plans and working towards goals is especially commendable when a person wishes to actually achieve something. When these goals are complete, create new ones, and so on.
* I guess they call this ‘The Pursuit of Happiness.’ Oh well. It keeps one occupied, anyway.
I’m partial to the idea that happiness isn’t a destination so much as how you go about getting wherever it is you’re going. So definitely agree with the statement that it can only happen in the present. I’m pretty sure it’s all about perspective and finding right values (which are only right because they lead to outcomes you can appreciate). It always comes back to ethics. What’s a good outcome and what’s a bad outcome, though? For me, I think feeling like shit would be a bad outcome, so doing stuff that makes me feel that way is probably not a good idea.
Yes, I agree. Okay, so work is a necessary evil if someone wants money with which to pay bills, and hopefully have enough left over for leisure and entertainment, but with that aside, there are other examples… For instance, let’s say somebody decides to go stay in some island for the holidays. Beforehand they go on a cruise. Surely the point of a cruise is to enjoy the amenities on board, and perhaps meet some cool people, isn’t that so? This person should not lock themselves in their cabin with a travel guide, making a calendar on their iPhone of all the activities they plan to commence while on the island. That would a prime example of ‘not living in the moment.’ Instead they should be out there having fun and ‘creating memories.’
One thing that irks me is when folks put so much preparation and money into one day – like a birthday party, wedding, or graduation ceremony. They expect everything to be ‘perfect’ and when it isn’t, they are invariably disappointed. This is why I dislike events that require a certain play-out. I’d rather go for scenarios where you can just jump in and see what happens. That’s what ‘adventure’ is all about.
P.S. As for the ‘shitty outcome,’ sometimes it’s good to use foresight and try to figure out if certain actions will end well, or not. Whenever I don’t do that, I seem to find myself in deep water more often than not.
I dunno, work can be a necessary evil, or just another moment to find ways to actually enjoy. I worked at this print shop in Florida and the management was insane, cheap, and mostly neurotic in every way. But I found if I disregarded all of that as superfluous details that had nothing to do with why I was there, a lot of the customers who came in would provide me with an endless array of interesting and challenging stuff to do.
happiness?
i’ve always thought to myself..
get a job, get some friends, get a girlfriend..
what else….is there? if you don’t have those three 9/10 you will be miserable.. anyone care to argue?
I have no girlfriend, no job, but I do have a handful of friends, but when I’ve had a girlfriend, a job and friends, I’ve found that whatever emotional state I’m experiencing at a given time is pretty much the same as what I might experience at any other time, under any other circumstances. It just depends on what I’m doing and how I’m thinking about it.
The only job I ever had that I couldn’t turn on its head and find ways to enjoy it to a large extent was when I got roped into selling vacuum cleaners. Good lord, that was just absurd. People trying to kill me, all the superficial religious posturing my bosses did on a daily basis, insane work conditions that were impossible to predict… yeah, I would not recommend that job to anyone. I’d rather deal with a warehouse full of buzzing angry bees, neurotic management practices and irrational customers. So much more fun.
@Lorax It would depend on the job, certainly. I would like to eventually have a career I could enjoy. I saw this show once about people who worked in an antique shoppe [called ‘Oddities’] – that was pretty neat. If you like weird, random odds and ends and enjoy speculating on the stories behind these objects, as well as getting to know the characters who do come into the shoppe (some of whom were hardcore collectors), then I’m sure one could appreciate such an employment (if the managers and other co-workers treat you fairly).
@helloiamdepressive – Money, companionship, sex, good food, liquor, entertainment, etc… yes, these things can bring what they term ‘happiness’ and make life worth living, sure. There are other ways to find contentment – like physical fitness, sports, going out into nature, being in a beautiful setting, or around animals, etc. I guess it depends on the individual.
@Lorax Wow, I wasn’t aware that the sale of vacuum cleaners was such a shady business. My, my.
I concur, however, any situation depends on one’s mindset. If you’re miserable all the time, changing your situations might not eliminate depression or whatever. You have to try to think positively first.
I think it greatly depends on who your working for in the vacuum sales business. If you’re working for nutty Jehovah’s Witnesses who are married and have a propensity to try and kill one another by driving through red-lights and throwing bricks at each other… shit’s gonna get messy. lol
Hahaha. I used to buy vacuum cleaners from this little shoppe that also sold old-fashioned children’s toys – like genuine wooden articles and such. Cute. The owners were religious but I never walked in on any domestic discord (they lived above/behind the store).
Guys watch this. You guys are probably at least familiar with this guy. http://youtu.be/q6EIhkAyy3s
Then there’s drew Bree’s http://youtu.be/4HeLYQaZQW0
I’m pretty sure it’s just a Florida thing for vacuum cleaner sales managers to be insane. Haha… Florida is a strange land of both crazy and curious people. I probably met more interesting people in Florida than anywhere else I’ve been, but the drawback of living there is you might become collateral damage when you run into the crazies. Cuban food is pretty much what makes the whole affair worthwhile, though.
I would speculate that hall of fame quarterbacks in the prime of their careers, with happy marriages and several offspring, are probably pretty happy (except for when they get embarrassed by the seahawks and the rams…)
Ooh, Cuban food. I really must visit Florida someday. My grandparents used to go there every winter; they loved it. They’d send us back fresh oranges. How I wish I were someplace warm right now. Heheheh. Would you go back and live there or are you planning on moving to a different area once you have the funding? (If I recall correctly, you’re not living too far away from me at the moment.)
@clever: you’d be amazed — people in public spotlights are often extremely narcissistic and project an appearance of being the opposite of what they actually are… heh. Works for people in leadership positions, too. Have to maintain that public image…
@perseph: Maybe, but I’d probably miss the snow way too much. Florida always felt so unnatural during the winter months. Oranges are definitely a big plus of living there, though. 😀 You can find them growing all over the place and just pick them out of the trees for free.
actually, i wouldn’t be amazed. I would expect the worst and hope for the best.
I would hope they’d be happy with their extraordinary advantages and accomplishments, while expecting they wouldn’t, and if i were to discover such a person was a totally unappreciative jerk, it wouldn’t surprise me at all. I would feel more pity than envy, for them. I’d probably also try to blast them with a dose of comparative reality, given the chance.
Pro QB’s deal with an astonishing amount of pressure, though, so could easily see how, even with all those successes and advantages (Romo, for example), they might not be very happy at all.
Being a starting pro quarterback making millions, isn’t enough; you have to win superbowls, or at least get really close several times, or all the rabid fanatics and armchair quarterbacks will demand your head on a pike (or at least a capable replacement).
@Lorax I love fresh fruit, so that would be amazing. I wouldn’t want to live in 77 °F + temperature all the time, but I can definitely do without the cold. Autumn is fine, I don’t mind a brisk wind. It can be refreshing. Idk. I’m hoping that the West Coast might suit me in this regard (if I can ever manage to get out there).
I found it ironic and humorous that the first link in that “QB” post, was a video about Tom Brady finally realizing that “maybe there’s more to life than football?”
I mean, did he really not know that before? I can’t imagine how he could have not known that. Or maybe i can, and that’s why i don’t mind that i didn’t get to be a pro. The game is fascinating to me, and the money seems right… but it’s obviously not the only thing. Maybe that’s why i didn’t make it? Maybe “making it” requires shutting out everything else that isn’t what you want, even valid, useful, meaningful, important things. And maybe now, i can’t shut everything else out, so i can’t succeed. Maybe there just isn’t “just one thing” i really, really want to do, that i can accomplish by ignoring everything else… or that is even worth ignoring anything else.
:shrug:
@clevername: i kinda get the “maybe there’s more to life than football” thing… when someone wants to really have success at something competitive (or maybe they just compete with themselves to become better), they lose sight of a lot of things in their lifes… often they become obsessed with doing that one thing they’re supposed to do and get better at it. And one day, they realize they have neglected other things in life way too much… i can relate because i used to be that way (and lost some of the most important things in my life because of that). When you start losing those important things then you realize what you say, there isn’t just one thing that is worth ignoring anything else (and usually, you realize that way too late… i know i did).
think about this Matthew 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
guys God loves you and cares for you. Tom Brady if He’s not trusted Jesus as his Savior and asked Jesus to come into His heart and save him and forgive him and believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven, may be feeling that there’s something missing when he has almost what some people think would be the perfect life and a life of happiness. I mean guys think about it. John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. Guys why not put your faith and trust in Jesus and ask Him to save and forgive you and ask Him into your heart. Seriously if this wasn’t te truth I wouldn’t be putting time and effort in telling others about God and His love for them
@helovesyou: lol what are you doing here?
Haha just trying to help others bro
I posted before go all the way up and then in the middle
If there is such a thing as true happiness, does that mean there’s such a thing as false happiness, and how could anyone tell the difference? O.o Hmm..