I have everything anyone could want…..
My parents love me to death, they bought me a home, they bought me a car, they’ve bought me every toy/trip I’ve ever wanted. Â My current girlfriend I gorgeous and will do anything to stay with me. Â I’m normal, maybe not that athletic but an intelligent capable member of society. Â Despite all of these I lock myself in my house binge drinking every night reflecting and brooding on my self-hate. Â What the fuck is wrong with me. Â Everyday when I wake up I almost beg to be taken out on the way to work. Â I space out at work wondering how it will end and if anyone will actually give a shit. Â During meetings I play out my funeral in my head, who will show up? who would give a shit? how long until everyone is normal again? Â Is it an extreme self-obsession or is it depression? Â Who gives a fuck so long as it ends.
3 comments
Sounds like maybe your bored with life? Maybe you need something to challenge you. Something to strive for to have to work for so you can feel a sense of accomplishment. You sound depressed about life like you need a challenge. What do I know can’t even figure out my own issues, just thought my input could help you.
Has someting happend in your life recently to make you feel this way? Or have you always or most of the time felt like this?
I don’t know, but definitely seek professional help. If you don’t like the first therapsit, fire him/her. Same for the second. But find someone who can work with you on this.
For some reason, you don’t feel that you are loved for the real you. Perhaps your family and girlfriend are not as perfect in support as you describe. Or you seek something greater, something spiritual, even if it be the wonder of Nature. Not necessarily God or religion.
You’ve got too much going for you not to try to make your life more meaningful.