I shall not be peaceful until such a time as frozen bits of water begin falling from the heavens. It is 39F outside and that’s almost unbearably hot. O.O Must move to Antarctica ASAP.
That’s just absurd. How do you think penguins reproduce, by flapping their wings? They’re actually more comical than humans when gettin’ jiggy with it. That’s saying a lot.
@ClairDeLune: People suggest that a lot, but I always say, when it comes to having sex, I don’t have to suppress any part of myself. I might have to suppress some nausea, but that’s about it. Not having sex = a helluvalot less annoying.
I’ll put it this way. The last time I had sex with someone, I had to stop about 3 minutes in because I couldn’t stop laughing about how absurd what we were doing was. I mean, sure, you can minimize the sensory details that might get in the way, maybe wrap yourself in saran wrap and shove cottonballs in your nose, put some corks in your ears and wear a blindfold, but good lord, even thinking about that makes me want to giggle a little bit. Sex itself seems more like some kind of cosmic joke to me, granted so many people enjoy it so much. If you don’t understand why I don’t like sex, I’m just as confused about why you do like it.
If that’s so, god has an absurdly strange and twisted sense of humor. I mean, what happened during creation when God was up there in Heaven, discussing how to make man with his asexual, hermaphroditic choir of angels?
“Well, I figure if this one takes this elongated bit and shoves it into that hole in the other one, and they rub against each other for a while, then happy baby juice will squirt out, causing the fertilization of an egg, thus producing a child!”
The angels would say, “WHAT? Hahaha…. that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! And they’ll LIKE doing it?”
“Well, we’ll make it immensely pleasurable for them. And THEN I can forbid them from doing it under most circumstances!”
@lorax i believe the prepubescent kindergartener will make an appearance in Matrix 4
@c4 apparently the gerbil thing is a myth…i asked my brother, may he rest in peace, who was gay, and he said he had never heard of it (although it would be much funnier if it were true)
@ClairDeLune: Believe me, I’ve thought about that one, too, but I don’t find eating to be unpleasant unless what I’m eating is unpalatable. It doesn’t usually involve body parts that double as waste elimination systems.
WIG, sometimes I don’t understand you. On the first post you preach of absolutely conservative Christian dogmas and on the next post you talk about your anal sex.
As soon as sex (whatever kind) is only done for providing for the sexual desires of both participants instead of a sign and form of love between man and women, it is bad sex – at least that’s what the church says. I am not as conservative as the church^^, but I still believe in ‘Mind over Body’ no matter how hard it may be (for some people, not lorax tho :D).
You guys don’t get it.
1) Brains are stored in the testicle region.
2) Gerbils have sharp teeth.
3) Butt sex is smelly.
4) God only went through a gay phase, he wasn’t gay full time. (He knew about gerbils).
I submit that God clearly favors penises – he REALLY likes them – based on the existence of geoducks. It follows from that conclusion, that brains are indeed stored in the testicle region, and that gerbils do not belong in anal cavities.
48 comments
I shall not be peaceful until such a time as frozen bits of water begin falling from the heavens. It is 39F outside and that’s almost unbearably hot. O.O Must move to Antarctica ASAP.
you will be at home there. there is no sex in ant.
unless you’re into penguins
That’s just absurd. How do you think penguins reproduce, by flapping their wings? They’re actually more comical than humans when gettin’ jiggy with it. That’s saying a lot.
Damn, fester beat me to it. Haha.. 😀
i meant for you,.,,, since you have said many times sex is nasty and you dont want it
I don’t have to deal with sex where I am right now. It’s as easy as blinking.
Do you actually believe that, lorax, or are you just supressing the sexual part of yourself?
@ClairDeLune: People suggest that a lot, but I always say, when it comes to having sex, I don’t have to suppress any part of myself. I might have to suppress some nausea, but that’s about it. Not having sex = a helluvalot less annoying.
@lorax: by annoying you mean, you having sex with a penguin right? (j/k, i realize you might have your reasons for it, haha)
Don’t you feel the slightest sexual emotions? Like not at all?
Don’t understand me wrong, Im not criticizing anything, I just find it strange and Im curious.
sometimes a ***** or ass will stink, its normal, but sex is great 🙂
I’ll put it this way. The last time I had sex with someone, I had to stop about 3 minutes in because I couldn’t stop laughing about how absurd what we were doing was. I mean, sure, you can minimize the sensory details that might get in the way, maybe wrap yourself in saran wrap and shove cottonballs in your nose, put some corks in your ears and wear a blindfold, but good lord, even thinking about that makes me want to giggle a little bit. Sex itself seems more like some kind of cosmic joke to me, granted so many people enjoy it so much. If you don’t understand why I don’t like sex, I’m just as confused about why you do like it.
Genes? Same reason why morale exists.
coz its emotionally and physically stimulating and pleaseurable to be inside a woman 🙂
“To be inside a woman,”
THAT’S what I’m talking about!
That makes me giggle.
“To be inside an anus.”
What madness…?
Who invented this bizarre method of reproduction, a prepubescent kindergartener from another planet?
God did 🙂
Gerbils have very sharp teeth. Don’t introduce one of them to your digestive tract, (unless the gerbil has a flashlight & a map).
“Putting bite-sized organic objects into a wet hole in you body.” Sounds weird as well, but you still eat and drink every day.
If that’s so, god has an absurdly strange and twisted sense of humor. I mean, what happened during creation when God was up there in Heaven, discussing how to make man with his asexual, hermaphroditic choir of angels?
“Well, I figure if this one takes this elongated bit and shoves it into that hole in the other one, and they rub against each other for a while, then happy baby juice will squirt out, causing the fertilization of an egg, thus producing a child!”
The angels would say, “WHAT? Hahaha…. that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! And they’ll LIKE doing it?”
“Well, we’ll make it immensely pleasurable for them. And THEN I can forbid them from doing it under most circumstances!”
i just think you have been with the wrong woman lorax lol
Wait a minute.
“You want me to put WHAT WHERE?!?!
I’ll have to admit lorax, you’re funny. But also good at distraction 😉
“Hey. That’s not my finger”.
“Ok. That’s not my belly button”.
@lorax i believe the prepubescent kindergartener will make an appearance in Matrix 4
@c4 apparently the gerbil thing is a myth…i asked my brother, may he rest in peace, who was gay, and he said he had never heard of it (although it would be much funnier if it were true)
@ClairDeLune: Believe me, I’ve thought about that one, too, but I don’t find eating to be unpleasant unless what I’m eating is unpalatable. It doesn’t usually involve body parts that double as waste elimination systems.
my wife loved anal, nothing nasty about it, thats what soap is for. 🙂
WIG, sometimes I don’t understand you. On the first post you preach of absolutely conservative Christian dogmas and on the next post you talk about your anal sex.
well, i was married. 🙂 its OK ya know.
Anal sex is an abomination unto the digestive tract.
He’s a true Christian. True Christians like butt sex and they accuse women who want to leave their man of being “pure filth”. Read your bible.
Its OK to do that with your spouse.
@C4
I heard that Muslims are that way too. They are so against women’s rights because women lack penises.
As soon as sex (whatever kind) is only done for providing for the sexual desires of both participants instead of a sign and form of love between man and women, it is bad sex – at least that’s what the church says. I am not as conservative as the church^^, but I still believe in ‘Mind over Body’ no matter how hard it may be (for some people, not lorax tho :D).
Clearly anything lacking a penis is evil. The most holy and blessed creature on the planet is a geoduck.
@ depressednihilist95: It’s simple algebra, really. Everyone knows that brains aren’t contained in the brain = they’re stored in the testicles. Middle Eastern peeps know this.
umm she thought of it as love lol
anal sex is permitted by scripture, as long as it’s for the procreation of gerbils
You guys don’t get it.
1) Brains are stored in the testicle region.
2) Gerbils have sharp teeth.
3) Butt sex is smelly.
4) God only went through a gay phase, he wasn’t gay full time. (He knew about gerbils).
I submit that God clearly favors penises – he REALLY likes them – based on the existence of geoducks. It follows from that conclusion, that brains are indeed stored in the testicle region, and that gerbils do not belong in anal cavities.
@ Lorax: Clearly you understand math.
^^ ROTFL
wrt to brains being stored in the testicle region, there are whole societies –and not just in the middle east — that are based on this principle
I’m just a toothless gerbil navigating my way through the womb of life.
Aren’t we all just toothless gerbils?
I’m a gerbil-less tooth.
You got a dentist? Lemme give you my lawyers number.
toothless gerbils — a delicacy at your local chinese take-out
toothless gerbils= What else would you put up your butt?